American Idol Introduces Their New Judges

The New American Idol Dorky McJudgersons! (And other people we don't care about.

American Idol host Ryan Seacrest helped introduce the new judges to whomever still cares. I'm not sure why this was presented as some big reveal, like they were going to open King Tut's tomb and Shania Twain was going to pop out. Doesn't FOX know that the internet exists and we already knew who the new judges were?  This "event" was held at The Forum in Los Angeles this morning and presented live on UStream.  So they do know the internet exists.  Okay then.

In addition to Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, Interscope Geffen A&M chairman Jimmy Iovine will be the "in-house mentor" for the contestants this season. Which I guess means no more celebrity mentors, of which Jennifer was one. While on stage, Seacrest asked Lopez what she would be looking for in this season's contestants. "I'm looking for the next Michael Jackson," she said. Well, good luck with that honey. Steven Tyler said he wanted to join because "it's being a part of something bigger than yourself...".   Bigger than your lips, Steven?

Where's Iovine? (Really, JLo? A Camel-Toe Jumpsuit? Lovely.)

This was absolutely ridiculous, even for American Idol, which has had many a corny moment.  Jennifer coming out on stage like she was Diana Ross.  All that smoke, I thought the fabric of that hideous jumpsuit had started a fire.  Randy is the only original judge left, and I guess he has a few more "dawgs" left in him.

I miss Simon already.

(And for all of you who may not get the "Hugh Jass" tag--DivaJulia uses it in reference in Ms. Jennifer Lopez.)

Funny. Every. Time.