Ladies and Gentlemen, this week was a great week in the Twitterverse (thanks in large part to the second Presidential Debate)! Personally, I can't wait to see how Saturday Night Live will spin 'binder full of women', but what else happened this week?
Uma Thurman named her child something like Princess Consuelo BananaHammock Beauregard of Narnia . . . or something, Holly Madison announced that the bun in her oven is a baby girl, Justin Timberlake married Jessica Biel, and Disney's first Latina Princess is unveiled--looking as Caucasian as they come! Celebs tweeted, and I reacted as follows:
I was VERY disappointed the last time I went to see a movie solely based on its name. Spoiler alert: there are no (actual) penises in Boogie Nights OR HBO's 'Hung' --- I won't be tricked again!
I'm actually surprised that Tyler Perry's new movie isn't called 'Tyler Perry's Alex Cross based on a novel by James Patterson'. In all actuality, I'm going to see that movie because James Patterson is my favorite, and Matthew Fox is looking insanely good looking. Hopefully Mr. Perry tones down his...muchness.
I had NO idea the Donald was so Team Edward! I bet he and NuttyMadam sobbed together over Robsten's demise in the woods while some Claire de Lune played softly from a boombox somewhere . . . not that I would know of any Twilight related hysteria . . . moving on!
Ellen Barkin's tweet feels like she wrote out a bunch of ways that she could make a joke about calling the Republicans crazy and finally settled on this one, she should've kept trying because...yaaawn.
I have never watched any of the Real Housewives shows on Bravo, but seem to keep catching all of their reunion shows, and LAWD, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is so right! The clips that they air show these women being beyond catty, BUT we can't hate on them because, "AT LEAST I SAID IT TO YOUR FACE!" I can't wait to call someone an a-hole and drop this line like a classy Miami housewife (minus being married)!
You know what I think should make him feel like one hack of an actor? EIGHT SEASONS AND WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DAMN MOTHER LOOKS LIKE on How I Met Your Mother! They are so lucky Neil Patrick Harris is on that show, because I would have been done professionally with it, circa season 2.
LOL, what a douchebag thing to tweet! Even if you think you're better suited for a role, can't you do the standard 'oh, wish I'd been up for the part too- but she'll be great' two-faced Hollywood thing? 'Biased' isn't the word, Juliette, I think we can use 'thirsty' for this one.
NOT SO, Julius Sharpe! I guarantee the Soup Nazi would have kicked Elaine out of his restaurant even faster if she'd tried Instagramming pictures of the kitchen!
Sometimes the universe answers requests in a warped way. We ARE getting the Ninja Turtles back, unfortunately director Michael Bay is nixing the 'teenage' and 'mutant' part, probably adding in some explosions, thus effectively killing my childhood.
Another picture to add to the 'Kim Kardashian wants attention' collection! Imma let you finish, but you could never stand a chance against Wonder Woman (for all you non-DC nerds, 'The Cheetah' was the main super-villainess foil for our favorite Amazon)!
This is exactly why I work out, too. That, and so I can look good jogging naked singing 'What's My Age Again'!
I'd like to show him how well I can put my lips together and blow.
I needed coffee when I read this, for some reason I thought, 'oh, how sad for him and Meg Ryan'!
I was as confused by Wyclef's birthday self-portraits as Naughty Rob was.
Well, duh, Rachel, wasn't that clear when we entered the binder?
I CANNOT TELL YOU THE HYSTERICAL AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS THE RETURN OF 'Arrested Development' IS BRINGING ME.
Please scroll back up and look at Kim Kardashian's picture once again if you need to confirm Seth's tweet for yourself.
Never fails! Tyra continues to make everything about herself, couldn't you just give props to Wheelchair Jimmy about his diploma without mentioning your gala?
Tweet ya later, loves!
Written by: Ana