A couple of things...firstly? Everyone needs to stop comparing Lindsay Lohan to this 45-year old father of pack of kids from different mamas, makes $2 million a WEEK for a sub-par sitcom, but is still an embarrassing and dangerous screw-up. Not even close. We'll get back to this issue in a moment.
Secondly, Charlie was staying in the Eloise Suite at the Plaza Hotel with his ex-wife Denise Richard and their two daughters, Lola and Sam, who were apparently staying in adjoining rooms in the suite when Charlie allegedly got crazy-ass drunk, high on coke and had a hooker with him. In the ELOISE SUITE?? Oh, and did I mention that StupidCharlieSheen trashed the suite to the tune of $7000+? Gotdamnit.
The Eloise Suite is sacred ground, my friend, and hookers, coke and CHARLIE SHEEN do NOT belong there. (However, "Nanny" most certainly drank sherry after tucking Eloise in, but that's different. After a day with Eloise, Skipperdee and Weenie, Nanny deserved a cocktail and a ciggie.)
Back to that pig, Sheen. Jaaaayzus. Ten bucks says he totally walks on all of this crap completely unscathed. As bloody usual. How many times does this whore get to break the law and women's jaws...oh wait. Charlie prefers guns (he "accidentally shot" Kelly Preston) and knives (the Aspen incident with soon-to-be ex-wife Brooke) for which he still has EIGHT DAYS OF PROBATION!!
"Charlie was drunk and naked in his hotel room at 2 AM when security was called. The Post reports chairs had been thrown around the room and a chandelier was damaged. The report also mentions that Charlie headed back to his hotel room with an unidentified woman and that he flew into a rage after noticing his wallet had gone missing."
and via TMZ.com:
"Charlie pled guilty to assault back in August and was placed on 3 months probation. If he violates probation, the Aspen D.A. could go back to court and ask the judge to throw Charlie in jail.
Prosecutor Arnie Mordkin tells TMZ, his office would not take any action unless there are facts conveyed to his office showing that a probation violation occurred.
Sheen may have dodged a bullet. He was not arrested, but cops came close. We're now told when police arrived to Charlie's Plaza hotel room, they told him he needed to go to the hospital. Charlie said he did not want to go and he was fine. At that point we're told the police gave Charlie an option -- go to the hospital or go to jail. Charlie wisely chose door number 1."
Yeah. Which option would YOU choose? Durrrr. And now Charlie's rep is saying it was all just an "allergic reaction". Apparently that's code for hookers, booze and drugs now. "Hey, let's go do some Allergic Reaction tonight, boys!!"
Those poor kids. Do they even stand a chance at a normal life? When they get older, they can do a history report on a celebrity who favored hookers (oh, HEY, Heidi Fleiss! HEY, Ladies!), booze and cocaine...and weapons. Or, maybe they shouldn't.
Charlie Sheen is the poster child old dude for Assholery. You'll find pamphlets at your local free clinic.
Oh, and leave Lindsay alone. At least while she's in rehab. Let's go after her skeezer-free-loading parents instead who are still tryna make a buck off their daughter.
Written by: Diva Julia