Does Suri Cruise really need an iPad?

"I will tear your soul apart".

Suri Cruise is a peculiar child. She is, of course, the spawn of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. You may remember Julia talking about her affinity for heels. I hear Christian Louboutin made children shoes just for HER.  During his recent appearance on Oprah, when asked about Suri's personal style, Tom said she picks out her own clothes and wears whatever she wants.

"Suri, don't you want to put on your Garanimals to go outside?"

"No, I want to wear my blue Stella McCartney. And where's my Prada bag?!"

It's not just the heels, and the mini designer purses and the red lipstick (seriously?), Suri  has a new accessory now, an iPad.  Treating your weirdo child too much like an adult, there's an app for that.  How does she even know what an iPad is?  I guess a LeapFrog was too big to fit into her Birkin.

A lot kids have their quirks. While most four year olds are watching Spongebob Squarepants and throwing spaghetti on the walls, Suri seems to be trying to make her way on the the style pages in Vanity Fair magazine. I can imagine Suri trying to set up lunches with the Obama girls, because you know, Shiloh and Zahara won't return her calls.  It will be interesting to see Little Miss Cruise 20 years from now. She'll probably be living in Brooklyn, interning at Vogue and having fights with Kingston Rossdale outside of nightclubs. For now, she's the oddest toddler on the planet.

Xenu wouldn't have it any other way.

Photo: The Insider