Glee recap: “A Very Glee Christmas”

Fintana!!!

Last night, I said that I really wasn't interested in watching Glee because it has become such a chore. So why do I, and so many former Gleeks continue to do so? It's kind of like watching someone drive while talking on the phone. They're swerving all over the road and you're just waiting for them to crash. Glee hasn't crashed yet, but it has veered into oncoming traffic.

Holiday episodes tend to exist in some odd realm where everyone likes each other and nothing really happens, but you sort of feel good afterwards. That was the case "A Very Glee Christmas," and that it was. The glee clubbers are decorating their tree. Almost everything, including the ornaments and fake presents, were stolen. So in walks Mr. Schue to tell them that they're doing Christmas wrong. Because, a Christmas tree just isn't Christmasy enough.  (Because Mr. Schue knows the true meaning of Christmas... Journey songs and hair gel?)

Ugh--singing to other students?

The kids are fully aware of their reputation at McKinley, being slushied is the new noogie. So why does Schuester force them to sing in front of their classmates? It was for charity, but they would have fared better singing in front of a grocery store. The faculty decide to do a Secret Santa gift swap, which results in Mr. Schue traveling all the way to Dalton to ask Kurt for advice on what to give Sue. I guess Kurt knows Sue best? WHAT?!  Did all of this happen over a weekend? Dalton is at least three hours away, and Mr. Schuester could have easily called Kurt, but we needed a scene with him, too.

Rachel tries her best to reconcile with Finn, who has already decided that he'd rather they just stay broken up. She's pathetic with him, and without him. My hate (and DivaJulia's) for Rachel aside, I say she needs a new love interest that is actually cute and can sing.

Artie spills the beans that Brittany still believes in Santa Claus, and rather than anyone break her heart and spirit, they visit a mall Santa to tell him their gift wishes. Britt wants Artie to be able to walk again. Sam asks for chapstick--I do not like this boy--and Finn asks for Channing Tatum to stop "being in stuff."  This is who Rachel is in love with?  Bleh.  They deserve each other.  Sorta.

Secret Santa time...

Rachel tries to win Finn over again at a Christmas Tree lot, even wearing a pine tree air freshener because it's his favorite scent. Jeez girl, grow a pair! The staff discovers that Sue has rigged the Secret Santa in her favor, having everyone buy presents for her. Instead, they all decide to donate their presents to the homeless charity.

Jane Grinch....oh, see what I did there?

Sue plays The Grinch, with Becky as her reindog Max, and steals the presents after trashing the choir room. As much as I adore Becky, does the way Sue use her bother anyone else? She encourages her to be mean and to steal, and Becky just goes along with it.

You're a mean one...

Poor Becky

Dismayed with what happened, Schuester tries to teach the group that gifts don't matter and something about "Gift of Magi." First you tell them things don't matter, then they do, then they don't. Will just doesn't know anything, does he? So they come together again to sing for the faculty, and collect money for McKinney-Vento Homeless Children and Youth Program..which is a real, and great, program by the way!

Santa Bieste

Brittany Lou Who

Coach Bieste, whom we've seen too little of the past couple of episodes, shines as the only character with any depth and morals. She's the perfect counterpart to Sue, trying to give rather than take away. She dresses up as Santa for Brittany to explain that her wish for Artie can't really be granted. She also tells her a story about a girl who just wanted to fit in, I wonder who that girl was!  Bieste, who apparently is loaded or has some great connections, purchases advice called the ReWalk that allows him to stand and walk. It's a Christmas miracle! I was half expecting Artie to shout "Merry Christmas, everyone!" like Tiny Tim.

Once again, Brittany had the best line, "I didn't know what it was. I assumed it was a Transformer." The look on Tina's face when she saw him stand was sweet. So yeah, Artie has been a douche to her, but she can be happy for him. So all is well in Whoville, I mean um, Lima, except that Will will be alone for the holidays. I was expecting Terry (ugh) to be decorating his apartment when he got home.  Thankfully, it was just Sue and the kids. Seems no one has a problem with breaking into people's homes if it means spreading some Christmas Joy.

There were a handful of songs used in this episode, all on the A Very Glee Christmas compilation. Not the strongest bunch of songs, but it is their first Christmas CD.

"The Most Wonderful Day of The Year" sung by the group. Rachel was missing from this, which I (read: WE) didn't mind. It was cute to watch them decorate the tree, but as others have noted this was an odd choice of song. Most of the kids do have nice voices, so it would have been nice to actually hear them sing and not just lip-synch.

"We Need A Little Christmas" sung by New Directions. Performing in front of your peers is the worst. This reminded me of all the awkward times in school when I had to give oral book reports or make speeches. I never had things thrown at me or told that I was ruining Christmas though.

"Merry Christmas Darling" sung by Rachel. I don't know how her singing was supposed to be a gift, seeing as how Finn hears her sing everyday. But I'm sure Rachel sees her entire existence as a gift.  Doesn't go over too well as Finn walks out.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside." sung by Kurt and Blaine. Blaine seemed to have been making a move on Kurt by asking him to help him practice the song. This was a pretty good duet. Darren and Chris' voices work well together.

"You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" sung by K.D. Lang. I would have liked to have heard Jane sing this while she was stealing the presents. Glee doesn't usually use any music that's not performed by the group on the show, so it was a nice change of pace.

"Welcome, Christmas" sung by New Directions. Another song from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. They always do well when they're a team and everyone sings. They're sweaters were cute, and for once they all seemed confident.

This is pretty much the end of the first semester. Hopefully after Christmas break, and the Superbowl, Glee can go back to being the GOOD show that is was. That's my Christmas wish, and a new car.