“The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Season 2, Episode 5 - “GLEE” - FOX NETWORK
By: Maria S., Bitches.
So, in order to do my review this evening I definitely had to illegally stream the latest installment of “Glee.” I recently moved out of my parents’ house for the first time and I am now living on my own in the heart of Seattle...sans cable. Kill me. But thank God, I can steal WiFi from the Starbucks downstairs.
Let’s get to the nit and grit! The episode opens with the classic ‘Rocky Horror’ theme song, “Science Ficition/Double Feature” sung by a familiar faceless red kisser that fills the screen (to which I’m almost positive belongs to Quinn). Rachel’s screeching is heard and in the school auditorium in the midst of a dress rehearsal for “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” we have Rachel and Finn cast as the doe-eyed lovebirds, Janet and Brad.
During the first snippet of a number, (the kids are rehearsing “Over at the Frankenstein Place”), we get a sneak peek as to the other roles doled out to the rest of the Glee class. And we are intrigued to say the least. The scene is abruptly interrupted by Dr. Emma’s New Boyfriend, John Stamos, clad in all black leather pants and jacket -- reminiscent of his famed and dearly missed role of Uncle Jesse Katsopolis .
He barges onto the stage to exclaim, “You messin’ with my woman?” in Schuester’s direction. We Tarantino it a week ago when poor, insecure wreck of a teacher, Schuester cops another lie to the Emma in order to gain points over her new man. Good luck. I normally root for the underdog, but c’mon...it’s John Stamos. Have mercy! Schuester, after being told that going to see a midnight showing of ‘Rocky Horror’ at the local dive movie house has caused Emma to do filthy, filthy things like forgetting the crusts off her sandwiches and thinking about wearing a costume to go trick-or-treating with Carl, tells Emma that funny enough, just last week Glee club had decided to do ‘Rocky Horror’ as the annual musical this school year.
Though he immediately sees the fault in his plan when he realizes he’s at a public school. “Soccer Mom friendly rendition” of the classic ‘70s musical? We’ll see!
Next scene we have Sue Sylvester doing her micro-segment “The Way Sue Sees It” on the small Ohio town’s news broadcast. Surprisingly, she’s not instilling fear in the youth of the world, but pressuring the public to agree that childrens' fear should be a priority to civil living. Shortly after, using a local Emmy win as bait, Sylvester is approached by producers of the news show (CAMEO ALERT! Meat Loaf and Barry Bostwick!) to do an expose’ on the school actually doing the show and what it means for the public.
Finn’s insecurity about his body becomes more and more of an issue this episode. “Glee” is actually going to try to tackle the topic male body image? Interesting...not really -- I JUST WANNA SEE SAM IN A GOLD SPEEDO. First rehearsal in class is a run-through of “Dammit, Janet.” Finn is actually adorable, and Rachel didn’t make me want to pull my hair out. Mid-song, Coach Sylvester yanks Schuester away from the class to fill her quota of intimidation for the day and to not only voice her unexpected “support” of the Glee club’s choice of ‘Rocky Horror,’ but to accept the role as the Criminologist.
Horny and lovesick, Schuester brings Emma on board of the crew as the costume designer. His excitement in his pants is brought to a halt however when Mike, the other Asian, backs out of his role as Frank N. Furter, forcing Schuester to tell Sylvester the musical is off. No musical means no expose’. No expose’ means no Local Daytime Emmy. No Local Daytime Emmy means no happy Sylvester.
Sue is on the prowl for the solution to her troubles, and she doesn’t have to travel far for it. She pops into Emma’s office to find Carl and her gushing over their PVC leather and lace ‘Rocky Horror’ garb for their Halloween costumes. After learning that Dr. Love happens to know every ‘Rocky Horror’ song there is and that he has an amazing voice “for a dentist,” Sylvester brings Carl to the Glee room to audition for the role of Frank N. Furter to save the show. Carl busts out “Hot Patootie - Bless my Soul” and let me be the millionth person online to say this, JOHN STAMOS HAS STILL GOT IT. This entire number was fantastic actually. It was spunky, had natural progression and fun blocking and choreography. It made me want to be spun by John Stamos while he kick-ball-changed. Dirty. During the entire audition Schuester looks on in bitter resentment to his talented counterpart. Oddly enough both Schuester and Sylvester are in agreement that Carl has the makin’s of an Eddie, not a Frank N. Furter. When this is said, Mercedes, meekly pipes up saying that she’d like to play the role of the Tranny from Transylvania. Whaa? Aight, girl. Get it...
...AND DOES SHE EVER! Mercedes knocks us OUT with her spin on the role during the first dress rehearsal of “Sweet Transvestite.” Santana and Brittany as Magenta and Columbia, respectively, are too perfect for words. I’ve fallen back in love with Mercedes after this.
As another attempt at saving face and to spend even more “rehearsal” time with Emma, Schuester convinces Sam to hang up his gold hot pants as the role of Rocky is a bit too mature for a student to play. Yeah, and an adult teacher prancing around in practically nothing is far more appropriate. I’m starting to get taken out of the episodes when horrendously unrealistic plot points come to surface. Especially when such plot points mean I don’t get to see Sam Evans his skivvies. However...Schuester in the itty bitty gold shorts? I think I’m still on board.
Jayma Mays (Emma Pillsbury) finally makes her Season 2 singing premiere while she and Schuester ran through “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me” in an empty classroom. I really do love her comical yet chilling voice. The number is too hot for words. It’s suggestive, dirty, and highly inappropriate with Santana and Brittany moaning and singing secret backup at the classroom window. Did I say I was on board? Because what I really meant to say was that I’m on board, on duty, on deck, and on whatever else I have to be on to keep Schuester shirtless. Actually, I’d be fine with being ON Matt Morrison... The number ends with some heavy panting and Emma clutching Schuester’s chest. Ah, to be a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that chest...
After a pep talk from Sam, Finn gets his natural sexy flowin’ by cruising the McKinley hallways in his tightie-whities and dark rimmed glasses. For this stunt, he almost gets his butt suspended from school for a month, but thanks to a previous pantsing of our favorite pro-commando Cheerio, Brittany, earlier in the school year, he’s let off with a warning. With that warning, the principal also warns Schuester about what doing this show might mean to the existence of Glee club at McKinley High School.
We’re finally brought back to where we started the episode with Carl walking into rehearsal, now with his black leather ensemble making a little more sense. Emma told Carl about Schuester and her steamy little vocal exercising and Carl is P.O.’d, y’all.
To add to the stress, Schuester is shown the rough edits of Sue’s expose’ on the school’s musical. In a curious turn, however, everything Sue Sylvester addresses in her little speech on the tape is completely...right. Schuester decides to pull the plug on the show and shares a close heart to heart with Emma in the auditorium, expressing his understanding now that if he truly does lover her (AWWWW!!!) that he needs to back off and trust that being with Carl is the best thing for Emma right now. Schuester goes to speak to his class about his new found logic and explains that the class will not be performing ‘Rocky Horror’ in front of an audience, but the show will go on -- just as a release for their own enjoyment and self-expression. In the episode’s last number, which turns out to be the most notable song of the ‘Rocky Horror’ soundtrack, “Time Warp,” we finally get to enjoy every one of the Glee kids in the other Rocky Horror roles. Kurt as Riff Raff is just spot on, and Quinn as a breathy Magenta is brilliant. And, I hate to say, but Finn is actually radical in his role as Brad. The costume updates were just enough to bring some new spirit to the classic icons of Columbia, Magenta, and the rest of the gang. Speaking of soundtracks, you can purchase the entire soundtrack to this week’s episode, “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” online and in stores.
Overall , this was a great episode. Good message, great numbers, and a tasteful ode to the cult classic.
And if for some reason you needed another reminder, it’s that time of year! I know I’m going all out this year to see a local screening of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” I encourage you all to find out time and places in your local listings -- and if you are near to a playhouse performing the live show, it’s even better! And, Virgins, don’t forget to wear your Vs
I’ll see you all in two weeks for the next new episode, “Never Been Kissed.”
p.s. If y'all missed GLEE last night--guess who has the ENTIRE EPISODE all up in HERE? WE DO!
If you're at work, y'all...just turn the volume down a bit...
Written by: Diva Julia