Johnny Depp’s Baby Mama Wants Him to Quit “The Tourist”; Guess Why!

Oh, boy. Here we go, y'all.

I've been waiting for this "news" (read: made-up gossip).   It's being plastered all over the media that Eddie Vedder's Johnny Depp's long-time love and mother of his two children, Vanessa Paradis is mega-jel and flipping out tryin' to get Johnny to quit his day-job.  Apparently she's not down with her man makin' sweet pretend love to Johnny's co-star, Angelina Jolie.

via FoxNews:

"In the flick, Jolie plays an Interpol agent who seduces a tourist, played by Depp, in order to flush out a criminal she slept with in the past.

Paradis "found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between (Depp) and Jolie," a source close to the project said.

"He's currently trying to (get out of the movie), but I don't know if he's succeeded. But he's trying and they're talking about replacing him with (Jolie's partner) Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio."

Paradis, Depp's partner of 12 years with whom she has two kids, did not need to look deep into Jolie's past to find reasons to worry.

The puffy-lipped siren and Pitt hooked up after they steamed up the screen in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."

The 2005 movie was largely credited with busting up Pitt's Tinseltown union with Friends actress Jennifer Aniston.

Years earlier, Jolie got her hooks into Billy Bob Thornton while the "Sling Blade" actor was reportedly engaged to actress Laura Dern."

This all sounds a little ridiculous.  Don't you think Vanessa has known about Johnny's new role for a good while?  Or is she just now wigging out after seeing how beautiful and ladylike Angie looks now that filming has begun?  You gotta admit, Angie's track record for onset romances is scary.  I would have said NO, and HELL NO right off the git.  But that's just me and my insecure ass.

In honor of Angelina and her "reputation", I give you Joan Jett, boys and girls.

"Bad Reptutation", indeed.