Hooker PLEASE | Dipped In Cream

30Aug/102

Lindsay Lohan on Vanity Fair October 2010 Cover! Sneak Peek! (PICTURES)

Lindsay...on the coveted cover of Vanity Fair

THIS one's better...

I hear-tell that boat used to belong to Judy Garland.

Seems our girl Lindsay did a little photoshoot and interview with Vanity Fair Magazine just prior to hittin' her three hots (not really) and a cot! Let's take a peek-a-loo at the interview, shall we?

via VF.com:

“If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking—so that says something, because I was fine,” Lindsay Lohan tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales. “I think everyone has their own addictions and hopefully learns how to get past them,” she says, in an interview conducted one week before her jail time began. “I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”

Lohan was visibly upset when she spoke with Sales about Ali’s presence in the courtroom, calling it “heartbreaking” to see her sister cry. However, Lohan feels conflicted about her father’s unexpected appearance at the hearing, telling Sales, "The worst part of it is you turn around and you see your dad crying and normally you’d be, like, happy that your father’s there. But then he has to go and do an interview right after.”

Sales reports that Lohan thinks her career is far from over. “I don’t care what anyone says. I know that I’m a damn good actress. … And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible—but that’s what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes,” she tells Sales.

Lohan adamantly denies rumors of drug abuse, telling Sales: “I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have—never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done—to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, O.K., ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.”

Lohan blames her troubles, in part, on hanging out with the wrong crowd, Sales reports. “So many people around me would say they cared for the wrong reasons. A lot of people were pulling from me, taking from me and not giving. I had a lot of people that were there for me for, you know, the party.” And when she first moved to L.A., Lohan says, “it was very go-go-go and I had a lot of responsibility; and I think just the second I didn’t have [structure] anymore—I was 18, 19—with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn’t do certain things … And I see where that’s gotten me now, and I don’t like it.” She says tabloids were her main source of news, and calls that “really scary and sad… I would look up to those girls… the Britneys and whatever. And I would be like, I want to be like that.”

Sales interviews several paparazzi, and reports that Lohan often cooperates with them for a fee, though Lohan denies this. “If I called her up right now and said I’ll give you $10,000, she’d come right down,” a photographer tells Sales. “Once you’re famous, there’s always a way to make money,” another photographer says. “She might not be doing what she’d like to be doing, but she’ll always be Lindsay Lohan.”

Ooooh. I need to re-subscribe to Vanity Fair. I miss it...and always end up buying it at the Safeway. It's a write-off, yeah? RESEARCH, people!!

Oh yeah...how 'bout this interview? I can't WAIT to read the rest of it when it hits the stands.

Written by: Diva Julia

28Aug/101

Paris Hilton Arrested for Cocaine Possession in Las Vegas (PICS)

Dumbass Hilton

Photo: Wenn

Say it with me, y'all! IT WASN'T MINE!!!

Paris Hilton was arrested in Las Vegas last night with her idiot boyfriend for possession of COCAINE. This bitch already used her "IT WASN'T MINE" Monopoly card earlier this year for toting weed in her purse at the World Cup.

"Close you legs please, Miss Hilton."

Photo and quote: TMZ

"Hilton and her boyfriend, Cy Waits, were arrested a little before midnight last nigh. Waits was booked on charges of DUI, while Hilton was busted for possession of a controlled substance ... cocaine.

Paris was released on her own recognizance shortly after her arrest and has hired Vegas legal eagle David Chesnoff."

I swear. These bitches.

Written by: Diva Julia

27Aug/103

Lindsay Lohan and her boobies go to a meeting in Santa Monica

Damn, Girl.

Good Lord. Lindsay has always had decent boobs. I clearly didn't realize that getting breast augmentation while in "rehab" (read: UCLA Psych Ward/Plastic Surgery Unit) was an option. Honey, you didn't need to do this.

Look at our girl, wearing the same flannel shirt that she wore yesterday by the by, trotting in to see her probation officer this morning. Yikes.

Honestly, Lindsay.

Those shoes? I can't. I just can't.

Written by: Diva Julia

26Aug/100

Taylor Momsen, Please Put Some Clothes On

Yes. She's 17 years old.

I only caught the last minute or so of this performance last night on The Late Show With David Letterman. That was one minute I'll never get back. Not that I was going to do anything important with it, eat a sandwich maybe. Anyway, I'm here to torture you with this now. I haven't bothered to listen to The Pretty Reckless, because I can't bother to take Taylor Momsen seriously as some sort of rock goddess.

Miss Momsen annoys me enough as Jenny Humphrey on Gossip Girl, so hearing her trying to moan and groan out these wretched lyrics like she's a cat in heat just makes my head hurt. Not to mention the fact that she has a serious case of I Need to STFU-- combined with the hooker heels, the lingerie as day-wear, and talking about how her vibrator is her best friend. (That bit of information got her into a feud with The Pig Who Shall Not be Named, and I couldn't take sides on the issue because they're both incredibly ridiculous.) I assume Taylor writes all of her undoubtedly terrible lyrics, and she also plays guitar--which is commendable, but if she wasn't trying so hard to be edgy and provocative, it might actually mean something.

You know Dave has a thing for the ladies, and I wonder what he was thinking walking up to her after they finished performing. Maybe it was something like, "child, put some clothes on." He seemed totally uncomfortable, didn't he? Seriously, why are her parents letting her walk out of the house looking like this? I'm not prude, we all know that, but she's basically wearing underwear out on the streets. Where are they selling these My Little Hooker playsets? And who does she think the audience is for this mess? Girls who are just now discovering The Runaways because their favorite fidgety vampire meal played Joan Jett in the movie?

"My Little Hooker"! Photo: contactmusic.com

Taylor? I'm sure you have taken many pages from the Dirty Blonde Rocker Chick Handbook, but unless you can go full dirty like Courtney Love, get a new shtick.

Yeah. Looking crabby is SO edgy and badass. (SNORT)

So here's Tay (Little T?) with her band outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Don't they look like a happy bunch! What went wrong in these dudes lives that they ended up being the backing band for a human raccoon that once starred in a movie based on a Dr. Seuss book?

As if New York needed the smell of desperation wafting in the air.

Written by: Brittani

24Aug/102

Lindsay Lohan is free to snort and chug! PARTY AT LINDSAY’S!

Whooo-Hooooo!!

OhforpitySAKE. Sounds as though Lindsay will be skipping out of her 90-day court-ordered drug rehab at the UCLA Medical Center today or tomorrow. Seems she doesn't "need more than 30 days" of rehab, according to the new judge handling the case. Oh. Okaaaay...23 Days is The New 90-Day Rehab!

Oh, Lindsay.

via TMZ:

Lindsay was released after 23 days at the Hospital. Lindsay will receive outpatient care for the foreseeable future.

We're told the doctors at UCLA were very clear with Judge Elden Fox ... they felt Lindsay should be released from the facility immediately, and the judge saw it their way.

Judge Marsha Revel had previously ordered Lindsay to spend 90 days at UCLA.
A court hearing is scheduled tomorrow, although we've learned Lindsay will not be there."

Durrrr....of course Lindsay won't be there. And as for her "out-patient rehab"? I'll believe it when I see it. Does rehab usually start at 11:00 in the p.m.? She might be able to swing by on her way to Voyeur.

So, just in case you're entirely familiar with Lindsay's arrest record, I have it for you to study. Enjoy!

Lindsay - one week from now?

June 2010 - Lindsay Lohan's SCRAM device was apparently set off while attending a 2010 MTV Movie Awards after party. Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel found Lindsay to be in violation of the original agreement and issued a warrant for her arrest and upped the bail to $200,000. The bond was quickly posted and the warrant was removed. The troubled starlet denied any wrongdoing and even posted a bunch of Tweets in her own defense. Lindsay is still expected in court on July 6.

May 2010 - Lindsay was issued a temporary passport and when she returned home at the end of May, a judge mandated that she wear a SCRAM device (court issued alcohol monitoring device) on her ankle. Lindsay was forbidden from consuming alcohol and scheduled to appear in court on July 6.

May 2010 - When she failed to appear at a court hearing, a bench warrant was issued for Lindsay's arrest. She was partying it up at the Cannes Film Festival in France, claiming to be stuck there with her passport stolen. As quickly as it was issued, the warrant was withdrawn after her people posted the $100,000 bond.

LINDSAY LOHAN RUMORED CRIMINAL RECORD FOR 2008 and 2009

June 2009 - Rumors swirled that Lindsay allegedly stole $400,000 worth of Dior jewelry. She posed for Elle U.K. on June 6 and it was discovered that jewels from the photo shoot were missing. Two days later, reps from the studio went to the police and reported a pair of diamond earrings and a necklace stolen. Coincidentally, it was the same set that Lindsay wore in the photos. No charges were ever filed in the case.

January 2008 - Rumor had it that Lindsay allegedly stole an $11,000 fur coat from Masha Markova while attending a private party at 1 Oak in NYC. After several back and forth phone calls, the coat was mysteriously returned to the rightful owner without charges being filed.

LINDSAY LOHAN CRIMINAL RECORD FOR 2007

November 2007 - Lindsay is convicted and sentenced to one day in jail, 10 days community service, three years probation, and an 18-month alcohol education program. She goes on to serve exactly 84 minutes behind bars.

August 2007 - Lindsay checks into rehab and heads to Cirque Lodge in Utah.

July 2007 - Just 10 days after leaving rehab, Lindsay is arrested again for DUI and driving on a suspended license. She is found with cocaine in her pockets and tries to convince cops that the pants weren't hers.

July 2007 - Lindsay completes 45 days of residential rehab treatment at Promises. After checking out, she wears an alcohol monitoring bracelet.

May 2007 - Lindsay is arrested for DUI and cops find cocaine in her possession.

So let this be a lesson to all of you non-celebrities. THIS KIND OF LEGAL TREATMENT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. (In your gotdamn dreams.)

Written by: Diva Julia

13Aug/101

JLo Tweets about “American Idol” – Is SUPER un-funny while doing so.

JLo's millions of dollars worth of diamonds via: JLo's Stupid TwitPic

So, JLo got wind of the fact that WE got wind of her demands special requests from FOX and the American Idol execs and thought she'd be "funny" (read: SUPER UN-FUNNY) addressing the whole deal.

JLo went directly to Twitter to "joke" about the sitch with this gem: , 'Hmmm... what should I wear today?', while attaching a TwitPic of her diamonds, cosmetics cases, feathered hats, bbq sauce in a 24 kt. gold tureen for her special self-tanner, as well as the tub of lard that she uses as a sitz bath in to maintain the size of that ass. (Maybe the last two items weren't in that TwitPic...I can't be sure.)

Well done, JLo. Pssssh.

Yeah. Smart move. All the the plebeians (read: ME) out there just love having JLo's over-indulged ass shoved in our faces. Gyaaaah. Idiot. Clearly, she doesn't GET that flaunting one's wealth isn't all that funny.

Se siente mejor, Jennifer? (Have Skeletor translate that for you, Mami.)

Written by: Diva Julia

11Aug/106

Jennifer Lopez too much of a DIVA for “American Idol”? (PICTURES)

"Oh, no FOX ditn't!"

So, I hear-tell that talks between Jennifer Lopez and FOX have fallen through with regard to La Diva's possible seat at the American Idol judge's table. Allegedly, Mama's demands stipulations were just a bit much for the FOX and American Idol execs.

JLo's appearance on "South Park" kind of says it all...(photo: Comedy Central/SouthPark)

Wait. Are you telling me that JLo is arrogant, demanding, self-absorbed, high maintenance and difficult to work with? You have got to be kidding me.

JLo and Skelator

Hold UP. Are we talking about THE Miss Jennifer Lopez? The aging, mother of twins with the celebrated booty who is married to that tiny, skinny Skelator dude? The same chick who back in the day actually gave us some decent dance music around 1999 (oh, did I love Waiting for Tonight eleven years ago!) and was in one really good movie with George Clooney? Stop me if I've got it wrong. Is this the same Jennifer Lopez who was dropped by her record label, SonyMusic back in February of 2010?

Ummmm....nice outift, gurrrl.

The same Jennifer Lopez who reportedly asked for a helicopter, a speedboat (stocked with champagne, of course), an on-call masseuse, a team of 12 hairdressers and make-up artists, and a pair of diamond-encrusted headphones on her rider for her performance at the World Music Awards, ? That one? (Take a look at JLo's demands polite requests from the Dorchester Hotel in London, mmmkay?)

Really??

Are we talking about the same back-biter JLo who totally took over the Cruise/Holmes wedding back in 2006 with her entitled self? (The wedding was all about HER after all...)

Seriously. You need to correct me if I've got this all wrong. I mean, who wouldn't demand politely request a 2000 sq. foot, all-white dressing room filled with white flowers (roses or lilies ONLY), white Jo Malone candles, ambient lighting--but a white-hot spotlight to accentuate our "flawlessness"--oh, I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Snippy IS judging YOU, Jen.

Oh, JLo. Judging for American Idol really could've helped your cache` (not really), but you had to go and demand ask for more than you really need, didn't you? Now YOU are being judged, Mami.

Written by: Diva Julia

26Jul/107

Today’s Blind Item: She’s a puker and restricter, not a “cleanser” Edition

"When you watch interviews with or read articles about this actress, she likes to talk about how she stays slim and beautiful. Of course it’s all about her incredibly healthy lifestyle! She claims her body is the result of nutritious – preferably organic – foods, wholesome cleanses, and body-strengthening exercises.

So we wonder when she’s going to gives us the scoop on some of her lesser-known beauty tricks: Plastic surgery (tummy tuck, lower face lift, botox); the consumption of fast-food bean burritos (she left seven wrappers in the back of a hired car); the cleansing effects of bulimia (she has a favorite toothbrush for that); and bone-thinning that would rival that of 90-year-old women."

Hmmmmm....

Oh. My. Gyaaaaaah! Now listen. You know my whole story about The Eating Disorder. (Caps required.) For me, this COUGHblinditemCOUGH is oh, so, interesting because of just whom this person IS vs. whom she PRETENDS to be...

Written by: Diva Julia

23Jul/101

Why is Paris Hilton TOPLESS? (PICS) I’m cringing, just so you know.

I know. I'm sorry.

I know you're just ITCHING to see Paris Hilton's boobies, aren't you? (Get your Valtrex out before even LOOKING at this photo, y'all...) I mean, it is Friday night after all. The lovely folks at CelebSlam.com are posting a weird picture of Paris just sitting on a yacht, looking straight at the camera...with boobies. I suppose, if you'd like, you can take a look right HERE.

Don't people normally have to have jobs before they take vacations? This dumbass is on a 24/7/365 holiday...and sometimes getting busted for weed, while she's at it.

Yeah. I'm totally scraping the bottom of the barrel. I apologize to most of you. And I say "you're welcome" to maybe three of you.

Shrug. It's all I've got right now.

Written by: Diva Julia

6Jul/102

George Michael arrested again? Yeah. Shocking.

"Say boys...what's up?"

George-bloody-Michael is at it again, y'all. Seems he rammed his Range Rover into a 24/7 photo processing shop in London over the weekend. Now all I can wonder is if he was dropping off some film or cd's for printing--and what/whom did said photos depict?

via: rttnews.com

"Police were called at approximately 3:30 AM on Sunday to reports of a vehicle in collision with a building. Officers attended and a man in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive," a spokesperson for London's Metropolitan Police tells the newspaper.

"He was taken to a north London police station and later bailed to return on August 13 pending inquiries."

BOOM. Nicely done, George.

I feel George should probably hire a driver. But wait. Then he'd risk a book being written about him and all of his exploits...like we don't already know all about George's love of drugs (LOTS of weed) and anonymous sex. In fact, I learned a new word last year due to George Michael's behavior:

via UrbanDictionary.com

Cottaging -the persuit of homosexual "Acts" of an anonymous nature in pubilc lavatories via a small and well crafted hole in the cubicle wall to ensure anonymity.

"Please excuse me a second Nathanial, I'm going to check out the cottaging facilities".

Huh. All this time I just thought "cruising" was an all -inclusive phrase. Apparently, I was incorrect. Some fag-hag I am. I do apologize!

ANYgay. Let's take a look at George Michael's rap sheet, via MTV.com:

2006 - Authorities arrested Michael after the star was found slumped over in a car and blocking traffic in central London. The singer was detained on suspicion of possessing Class C drugs (Class C drugs include a range of substances, such as marijuana and painkillers) and then released on bail. Michael was involved in a similar incident just a few months later. Once again, the star was found knocked out in a vehicle and then crashed into a traffic divider when a fellow driver woke him.

2007 - Michael was barred from driving for two years after crashing into three parked vehicles and failing to notify the owners of the cars before driving away.

2008 - Even on foot, the star continued to run into trouble. The singer was arrested on drug-possession charges after an attendant caught Michael in a public restroom in London (a seemingly favored haunt for the troubled singer) with a "small amount" of marijuana and crack cocaine. Luckily for the star, Michael was not charged and was sent along with a cautionary warning.

2009 - In what appears to be an annual trend for the singer, Michael was arrested again after he crashed his Land Rover into a truck. The star was questioned and then released and later denied being inebriated in a statement: "Neither of us [the truck driver nor Michael] was charged because we were both stone cold sober." The star added, "I don't want my fans or my family worried by what they are reading all over again."

Oh, George. I still love you, but get it together, man!

Written by: Diva Julia

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Managing Editor

DivaJulia is a nutty, sarcastic, yet overly-sensitive former model-turned-photographer and writer. She's also the Managing Editor of Dipped in Cream.

Contributors

Brittani is a 20-something North Carolina native and aspiring writer traveling through life with a martini in one hand and a remote control in the other.

Lisa Foiles is a video game journalist & former star of Nickelodeon's "All That." She currently produces her own web series Everyday Achievements & enjoys Guinness.