Raise your hand if you have gay friends who CANNOT GET MARRIED due to dumbass laws preventing them from a real, loving matrimonial ceremony that actually means something. Unlike someone else we've had crammed down our throats. (No sex-tape pun intended...well, maybe a little.) Why else is Kim famous?? Oh, yeah, the peeing situation...
ANYfame-ho, I'm so OVER this lame-ass excuse for a 72-day marriage, and hearing about Kim filing for divorce yesterday. I'm not gonna say anything different than anyone else is blabbing about, but I do want to say, "Yeah! What they said!", because this whole mess was a farce. The Kardashians--particularly Kim and Momager Kris Jenner can attempt to convince the public all they want that this was true love and a wedding that happened too quickly. Hey. PANTS ON FIRE.
Let's take a look at what is a very interesting list of how this "wedding" was a complete farce:
1. Big Day Pay Day
For most, throwing a wedding means spending big bucks. For Kardashian and her man, it meant making them. The reality stars were paid $1.5 million by People magazine for their wedding photos (as well as $300,000 for their engagement announcement), $100,000 from OK! for bridal shower coverage, and between $30,000 and $100,000 from Us Weekly for photos of their post-nuptial trip to Italy. Not to mention the E! stipend they both would have received as part of their show contracts with the network. Nothing says everlasting love like dollar signs.
2. Wedding Sponsorship-Palooza
The payouts didn’t stop there. The couple turned what most view to be a sacred day into a marketing media blitz, which also doesn’t point to sincerity. Instead of picking special or favorite and personal things for their big day, the pair brokered deals to get most of their wedding décor, eats and dresses for free or at a deep discount. Kardashian’s 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz ring should have cost $3 million, but the reality princess received it at a fraction of the price. It’s no coincidence that Kardashian only sported Schwartz jewelry to walk down the aisle (among the items: a $2.5 million 65-carat headpiece, 28-carat earrings and a 15-carat wedding band). The pair also got a deal on their Lehr & Black engraved invites, Kardashian’s hair, makeup and grooming and the cake (which was made by the same L.A.-based company that created her sister Khloe’s).
3. Made-for-TV Weddings Have Been Publicity Ploys in the Past
It’s no secret that getting married in front of the camera’s doesn’t yield many long-term results. Everyone from former MTV’s The Hills stars Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (who briefly separated in 2010), Brady Bunch alum Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry, every Bachelor and Bachelorette to get engaged in the history of the ABC shows (minus Trista and Ryan Sutter), Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro whose show ‘Til Death Do Us Part didn’t end up ringing true and Jon & Kate Plus 8 stars Jon and Kate Gosselin, who split after renewing their vows in front of TLC cameras, has seen their unions crumble after airing their weddings. But, despite that fact, Kardashian and Humphries chose to publicly say “I do” Aug. 20 in an E! special.
4. Wedding Regrets
Kardashian’s post-wedding appearance with Humphries on Ellen DeGeneres’ daytime talk show also yielded some seemingly similar not-so-happily-ever-after forecasting. When asked by the host what she would have done differently in regards to her wedding, the star responded, “Elope! I was so crazy for an entire month. I literally, I went crazy. It was so stressful.” A new storyline to explore after the reconciliation, perhaps?
5. Kim Appears Alone on the Cover of People Magazine
People magazine licensed the official wedding photos and interview with Kardashian and her husband for $1.5 million, so when the highly anticipated photos were released, many people expected to see the happy couple on the cover. However, only the blushing bride graces the cover of the big wedding issue, implying that the wedding and marriage were more about the Kardashian brand than the uniting of a couple in love. "It's all about the bride. We wanted her. It's her day, we wanted her on the cover," explained People's assistant editor Jen Garcia, who defended the magazine’s decision.
6. Kim & Kourtney Take New York Centers on Marital Strife Between Couple
Shortly after their honeymoon, Kardashian and Humphries flew to New York to film the second season of Kim & Kourtney Take New York. The season will most likely heavily feature the couple’s new life together as man and wife. And a source close to Humphries tells THR that the season with end with the couple “taking a break” from their relationship.
7. Pre-Split Public Partying
In a very coincidental turn, Humphries, who has never made headlines for being a party-boy before, was publicly spotted out on the town in NYC in the weeks leading up to the split announcement. Us Weekly’s cover story proclaimed “Enough!” saying the reality star was sick of funding her husband’s partying habits during the NBA lockout. Star magazine also cited eyewitness accounts of the basketballer “acting like he didn’t have a wife at home.”
8. Outlets Got Delayed Response
On Monday, when news began circulating that Kardashian was planning on filing for divorce, it was E! that got it confirmed first. Even after their site announced the news, other networks were waiting around for confirmation from her reps for quite some time. Of course E! pays the Kardashians, and Ryan Seacrest produces the show, so it would make sense. But is all that surprise by even the cable network possibly one big ruse to make that reunion plotline down the road more believable?
9. "Convenient" Timing of Announcement of Divorce
The news that Kardashian was filing for divorce hit the news on Monday morning. Most weekly magazines close out their issues Monday evening. This timing may not be a coincidence. The matriach of the Kardashian clan, Kris Jenner, made sure that the news hit before the weeklies closed, according to THR sources.
10. Kris Humphries Expresses Shocks Over Divorce News
What would make this sudden divorce announcement even more dramatic? And drive the previously unknown Humphries' fame even more? If Humphries didn’t know that he was getting hit with a divorce. The NBA player ran straight to TMZ and E! to express his shock at the news. "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce," he said in a statement. "I'm committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Isn't that what a heartbroken man does? Run to the nearest media outlet? Again, every reality producer in town must be thinking right now how to write that "Kris Wins Kim Back" extended plotline…
How many of you were given--or even loaned extravagant Lorraine Schwartz diamond rings, earrings, a headpiece, a Vera Wang dress, an entire WING and the bar at the Montecito Four Seasons Hotel (which ruined another bride's wedding, due to the Kardashian's demands and chaos) for the before-the ceremony parties and lodging, as well as an over-the-top wedding at a tremendous mansion in Montecito (aka the Rivera of America, just a hop-skip from Santa Barbara). I've stayed at this posh resort and as far as I'm concerned, the Kardashians have sullied its beauty and elegance.
Again. I'm just clearly redundant. Every media outlet, blog, talk show and water-cooler chatter at the office has, undoubtedly had the exact same conversation regarding this idiocy.
Oh, and I hold Ryan Seacrest and E! to blame for this farce, as well.
And a big thanks to HoneyJade for the heads up on the first photo. It ROCKS...xoxo, Boo. ~DivaJulia
Written by: Diva Julia