Hmm. This video probably is NSFW. Unless your boss happens to love loud electro-pop dance music with images of a nutcase in a fencing get-up slicing a hipster girl's throat wide open. This video, directed by Daniel Wolfe is not for everyone. (Just most of you sickos.) So you've been warned or invited, depending on who are are, got that?
Let me say this: It takes a lot for my non-existent attention span to sit through eight minutes of anything without changing channels, opening more windows, writing, researching with my headphones on blasting David Bowie to block out CNN on the TV off to my right, texting four people while talking on the phone with Patrick, while simultaneously leaving snotty remarks on my kid's Facebook page about obese cats named "Dinner". But I did stop everything for those eight minutes to watch this video.
I do need to give credit where credit is due. If I hadn't been for following "American Psycho" author, Bret Easton Ellis on Twitter, I wouldn't have been turned on to this video. (And by "turned on" I mean advised of, taken the recommendation by NOT actually tur--oh, never mind. Y'all are so gross.)
Does anyone else feel as though Jakey G. is auditioning for the part of Patrick Bateman? I hear-tell Bret is writing a "where is Patrick Bateman now type of sequel to American Psycho. More on that topic later today.
Written by: Diva Julia
You just know Taylor is writing a brand new song about Jake...what rhymes with BEARD? (Feared. Geared. Queered. Peered. Reared. Seared. Speared. Weird. Teared. Veered.) You're welcome, Tay. I'd be happy to be your dictionary/thesauras anytime.
"They're over," a source tells PEOPLE about the short-lived relationship. "It ended last month."
Oh. Okaaaaay. What about the vintage guitar and bracelet Jake supposed bought Taylor for her birthday? Honestly, though. Who even cares? Besides these two, I mean.
They sure got the crap-load of publicity they wanted, huh?
Written by: Diva Julia
What is sure to go down in history as one of the great romances of our time, US Weekly brings up the inside scoop on Jake and Taylor's ultra hot relationship. Let me get you a bucket, it gets worse from here.
Sources close to the couple say their "love" is "real" and that they "love" being together. It's like a real-life Disney movie.
Either they are the biggest trolls in the world, or they actually are totes in love. Looking at her past relationships, one of which included John Mayer (really, girl?), I guess she deserves someone like Jake. If it is a showmance, and I have no reason to believe it isn't,*ahem*, how did Jake's sister Maggie get mixed up in all of this? I doubt a pap would take a picture of her even if they did recognize her, so this is all just so odd, but you know, real.
I hope they don't have children. The poor things won't be able to see.
Entertainment Weekly magazine thought it was necessary to put out not one, but three covers featuring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. The pair's new movie, Love and Other Drugs hits theaters November 24. Gyllenhaal plays a rogue-ish pharmaceutical salesman who falls in love with a Parkinson's Disease patient played by Hathaway. They also played husband and wife in 2005's Brokeback Mountain. So, he's used to fondling her boobs.
Although they are just friends, I think they would make a cute couple. Better Anne than some squinty, emotionally immature "singer," right?
Photos via: Entertainment Weekly
Twenty-nine year old actor, Jake Gyllenhaal is reportedly in a new romance with 20-year old annoying person, Taylor Swift. The "couple" spent the weekend in New York City on various dates, having brunch and hanging out backstage at Saturday Night Live.
The two were spotted holding hands and strolling around Park Slope. No hipsters caught a picture of them with their iPhones? They also went apple picking at the Fishkills Farms in Hopewell Junction, N.Y.
Wow, I made it through two paragraphs. I won't repeat my initial thoughts but that sounds like the lamest date ever. Of course, Taylor would like something as boring as picking apples. I bet she freaks out in the produce section at the grocery store. All of this seems sudden, and quite convenient for the both of them. Taylor is releasing a new album, Speak, while Jakey-Poo has another movie coming out soon. If this mess is true, I can't wait to hear what sad ass song she writes about their relationship...his name rhymes perfectly with fake, heartbreak and ache.
Congrats Taylor Swift, you're the newer, younger Jennifer Aniston!