Or a bottle. Or his blankie. Something! He's been having the worst week ever, for a teenage millionaire, and I won't call this a "breakdown" or a "downward spiral," but something is up with this kid.
He's been in London for a number of sold out shows at the O2 Arena, but the city isn't treating him so kindly. After having the "worst birthday ever" when his party was shut down at club Cirque du Soir when bouncers suspected that underage kids were in attendance, he paraded around in a gas mask and decided the world needed to see his tighty-whiteys under some ugly blue pants.
On Monday Justin was met with boos from his fans when he showed up two hours late to his own show. He performed for only 40 minutes due to "technical issues" but later apologized on Twitter saying, "I never have any intent to upset or let anyone down." On Thursday, he collapsed backstage and was given emergency oxygen, then urged to cancel the rest of the show. Instead, he continued on with the performance and was hospitalized later. He tweeted a picture of himself, shirtless of course, relaxing in his room while listening to "Janice Joplin." It's Janis, child.
Things got even weirder when he had a run in with a paparazzo while he was leaving his hotel. After Justin shoved the man, the photog cried assault which prompted Bieber to conjure the spirit of Tupac Shakur and threaten him with a mcflurry of curse words, "I'LL F**KING BEAT THE F**K OUT OF YOU!" All while flanked by his babysitt...uh, bodyguards. Usher, come get your protege.
So a couple of questions. First off, who does Justin think he is? Has he ever been in a fight, EVER? Selena hurt you bad, didn't she bruh? Where are his parents? Where the hell do you even get a gas mask? What has been causing his sudden illness? Are Lays' Sriracha chips good? Should I give 'The Following' another chance? Is Justin Bieber another spoiled child that can't handle fame, and possibly his liquor? There could be a lot of things going on with him. Maybe the pressure of being pretty white boy is starting to get to him. His girl left, and the media is mocking him more than usual. He's trying to be a grown up but his audience is still made up of girls who haven't gotten their periods yet.
So I don't really feel sorry for Biebs, he just seems to be having a crappy week. We've all been there but on a much smaller scale. He needs a break, and possibly a nap.
Luckily for the dozens of Beliebers that camped out for tickets (and perhaps were actually hand picked--ew--by Bieber's manager, Scooter Braun), in one of the biggest snow storms ever, didn't keep them from seeing their idol host SNL.
I didn't have high hopes for the show, and wasn't looking forward to an hour and 30 minutes of him mugging for his stans at home and in the audience, and there was a lot of that. Overall it was a decent show, he wasn't that bad but the rest of the cast was really good.
The Cold Open focused on the Super Bowl, and not the blizzard as I thought they would. If you still paid attention to last Sunday's game after Beyonce's performance, you witnessed the blackout that brought the game to a halt. The CBS sports commentators had to scramble to fill air time while most of the stadium sat in darkness. I think this would have been funnier if I had still been watching when the blackout happened, but the 2 Broke Girls jokes and the reporters starting in on secrets no one needed to know made for a great start to the show.
Would Bieber sing during his monologue? No, he wouldn't, but the show made good use of him. I said this last night while I was watching and I'll say it again, there it something very creepy about that kid trying to be sexy. I know it's not aimed at my 26 years, but it's so off-putting. Anyways, he praises the month of February which houses Valentine's Day and Black History Month, by sweet-talking some girls in the audience by telling them some black history facts. Then a wild Whoopi Goldberg appeared! Even though she works for ABC, she was all over NBC last week, but was a pleasant surprise.
"Justin Bieber Decoys" Bieber as himself, well he couldn't have screwed this one up. The sketch featured most of the cast dressed as him, and I'm sure it was no coincidence that all the girls looked more like him than the guy did. The funniest line came from an exchange with Jason Sudeikis when Bieber complains about how the black decoy won't fool anyone, "Well, neither are you, homey," Jason deadpanned. Then randomly, Kate McKinnon as Ellen DeGeneres.
"The Miley Cyrus Show" I'm glad they brought this one back, and since they hadn't done it in a while they had to update Vanessa Bayer's wig because Miley is all "edgy" now. It was a bit too obvious to have Justin play someone that hates him, but the admission to smoking pot was pretty funny.
"50s Romance" This reminded me of when the cast sang "Summer Lovin'" on Jimmy Fallon's last show and he accidentally, or purposely, touched Tina Fey's boob. Biebs almost cracked Fallon- style, but kept it together through this ridiculous sing-songy look at an awkward date. "Billy thought he saw a witch and ran and locked himself in the car."
"Principle Frye: Valentine's Day" Principle Frye and the staff at Booker T. Washington High once again try to get through one of the school's dances without incident. Justin and Nasim Pedrad are an abstinent, but obviously curious, couple giving up some rhyming sex tips, "Don't do that thang until you get that rang." The real star of this is always Jay Pharoah's Frye, who just can't seem to get things in order. Attention teachers and students!
There were a handful of good lines from Seth Meyers, none of which were actually in the script, like when he reacted to the audience jeering at his Honey Boo Boo joke. Cory, the black guy you saw in every Super Bowl commercial, was a good segment even though I thought Jay should have played him instead of Kenan Thompson. "I have to give a high five every 12 seconds, then I laugh and bite into a piece of pizza."
"The Californians" JESUS CHRIST ON A RITZ, STOP DOING THIS SKETCH! It's like they know how much we hate it but they keep doing it to piss us off. It's not funny. It was never funny. It will never be funny. Bill Hader breaking won't make it funny. STOP!
"Justin's Sexy Valentine's Day Message" again just felt creepy. He actually pulled a "Hey Girl." You are not Ryan Gosling! Bobby Moynihan as Taco, some weird man-child, was the weird icing on the WTF Cake.
Christoph Waltz is hosting on February 16. Let's see how many Django jokes are leftover from when Jamie Foxx hosted.
Oh, I love it when the little ones air their dirty laundry to the masses. Check out sistergirl Selena Gomez actin' all mad at her babyboy Justin Bieber while she sings Justin Timberlake's ode to Britney Spears, 'Cry Me A River'.
Meanwhile, Justin's smokin' a blunt in his hotel room with some other
Aaaaand, here come the hate emails. Bring it, little girls.
Written by: Diva Julia
You guys couldn't have just acted like Liz & Dick was a decent movie, could you?
Not even a week after her Elizabeth Taylor biopic premiered on Lifetime and Lindsay Lohan is already back to her tried and true antics. The actress was arrested early Thursday morning after an altercation with another female patron escalated to blows at Club Avenue in New York’s Chelsea. Sources say the two had exchanged words earlier in the evening, with Lohan allegedly even asking the woman to “give [me] my space.”
Cops were called to the club shortly after Lindsay hit the unidentified woman in the face, and took the tabloid darling into custody, where she remained until being released just before 8 a.m. No word yet on how this latest violation will effect Lilo’s probation.
If I've learned anything in my years of stanning as hard as humanly possible for La Lohan (no matter how hard she seems to make it), it’s that she is petulant like a child. She acts out every single time she fails in her professional life.
I’m willing to bet anything that the broad that Lindsay cold cocked across the face made some mention of the mediocre performance and shit reviews her latest endeavor has accumulated over the past few days.
Does that make it right? No, of course not. But I’d be lying if that wouldn't make it even more entertaining.
While Lohan was hauled away in handcuffs, she kept insistently repeating, "Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?”
I know, babygirl. I can’t believe it either.
TMZ is now reporting that the altercation was allegedly over Max George of UK boy band ‘The Wanted’.
After seeing the band open for Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden earlier in the evening, Lohan accompanied Max and his bandmates to Avenue.
When Max set his sights on a female who wasn't her, Lindsay reportedly became enraged. This is the female who she is accused of striking.
The Wanted, Linds? Really? At least have some standards and go after the One Direction boys. Now I’m just disappointed.
Written by: AmandaRae
Another American Music Awards came and went. The show opened with a slightly out of breath Usher doing a medley of his hits and possibly blinding millions in the process. The performances were heavy on blondes, with Pink, Christina Aguilera, Carrie Underwood and Gwen Stefani and Co rocking the stage. Nicki Minaj took us through a Winter Wonderland nightmare, and Justin Bieber didn't let his recent breakup keep him doing what he does...lots of crotch-grabbing.
Perhaps the most talked about moment will be PSY' "Gangnam Style" with a cameo from MC Hammer. Yes, that MC Hammer! Look, I know people are already writing PSY off as a one hit wonder here in the States, but this guy is huge everywhere and he puts on one hell of a show. It was exciting, and fun and kind of reminded me of LMFAO's big show closing performance form last year's show. Hopefully, he won't be in the same position they are now when I'm writing a recap of of 2013's show.
There were some "interesting" looks from the red carpet. It's the AMAs, so I never expect much really. Nicki wore a bright Now n' Later colored dress, while Xtina got rid of the My Little Pony hair for a bob. I miss the pink honestly. Taylor Swift wore, surprise, sparkles and dumb look on her face!
Carrie Underwood looked good in this dark purple gown.
Bieber, who is well on his way to a CoverGirl contract.
Speaking of cover girls, Pink worked a grey-ish silver dress.
Will.i.am wore this. (Eyeroll)
While 50 Cent was one of the few guys to wear a suit.
No Doubt never age, and hair bleach might have something to do with it.
Kelly Rowland looked gorgeous and trendy in this short number.
Ke$ha is trying out a new, "cleaner" look, but it's not quite working for her.
The show was performance heavy, but a handful of awards were actually given out. Here are all the winners!
ARTIST OF THE YEAR
WINNER - Justin Bieber
NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR
WINNER - Carly Rae Jepsen
FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – POP/ROCK
WINNER - Justin Bieber
FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – POP/ROCK
WINNER - Katy Perry
FAVORITE BAND, DUO OR GROUP – POP/ROCK
WINNER - Maroon 5
FAVORITE ALBUM – POP/ROCK
WINNER - Justin Bieber, "Believe"
FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – COUNTRY
WINNER - Luke Bryan
FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – COUNTRY
WINNER - Taylor Swift
FAVORITE BAND, DUO or GROUP - COUNTRY
WINNER - Lady Antebellum
FAVORITE ALBUM - COUNTRY
WINNER - Carrie Underwood, "Blown Away"
FAVORITE ARTIST – RAP/HIP-HOP
WINNER - Nicki Minaj
FAVORITE ALBUM – RAP/HIP-HOP
WINNER - Nicki Minaj, "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded"
FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – SOUL/R&B
WINNER - Usher
FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – SOUL/R&B
WINNER - Beyoncé
FAVORITE ALBUM – SOUL/R&B
WINNER - Rihanna, "Talk That Talk"
FAVORITE ARTIST - ALTERNATIVE ROCK
WINNER - Linkin Park
FAVORITE ARTIST - ADULT CONTEMPORARY
WINNER - Adele
FAVORITE ARTIST - LATIN
WINNER - Shakira
FAVORITE ARTIST - CONTEMPORARY INSPIRATIONAL
WINNER - tobyMac
FAVORITE ARTIST - ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC (EDM)
WINNER - David Guetta
What was YOUR favorite performance of the night?