I'm pretty sure you can see or HEAR my eyes rolling all the way back into my skull, right? Kanye West is brilliantly pontificating (read: spouting public dumbassery once again) about how he "is not a celebrity". Uh...that's not what I heard. 'Ye's REALITY CELEBRITY Baby Mama, Kim Kardashian was Instram-ing up a storm during the Adult Swim Upfront at New York's Roseland Ballroom Wednesday night.
"I ain't no muthafuckin celebrity," Kanye West said halfway through his nearly 90-minute set at the Adult Swim Upfront at New York's Roseland Ballroom Wednesday night. "There's one thing about me, I'm a terrible, terrible terrible celebrity. I don't know if you really know there's one thing about me but I'm the worst kind of celebrity. All I do is make real music. All I do is sit in the studio and make real shit. And that's it. And that's muthafuckin it. That's muthafuckin it!
So I don't want no people runnin' up on me with cameras, trying to like sell pictures and shit to magazines, asking me dumb ass questions, throwin' me off my focus and shit. Harrasin' you all muthafuckin day. I ain't no muthafuckain celebrity.
It's so funny. Somebody asked me, 'when you do SNL, are you going to do a skit about the paparazzi and shit. And like humanize yourself?' I ain't hear to apologize to no muthafuckas, man. It ain't about me humanizing myself. At what point did I become un-human where I have to turn myself back? Or maybe I was demonized, or maybe I was treated inhumane and not human in that type of situation. I ain't no muthafuckin celebrity. I ain't runnin' for office. I ain't kissin' nobody's muthafuckin babies. I drop your baby and you muthafuckin sue me and shit. I'm trying to make some music that inspires people to be the best that they can be. And I don't want nobody else to ask anything of me! Don't ask nothing else of me.
Muthafuckas chasin you down, about to make you crash and shit. And all they want is for a nigga to laugh and shit. Hell nah, I ain't doin no muthafuckin 'SNL' skits. This is my Goddamn life. This ain't no muthafuckin joke."
Dude. Shut UP. What a humorless butthole. Oh, and it most certainly is a "muthafuckin joke", Yeezy.
So, Ray J released a song called "I Hit It First," a desperate cry for attention and an attempt to stir a big pot of poo. The song features lines like "She might move on to rappers and ballplayers/ But we all know I hit it first." Well, we all know who he's talking about, but Ray J honey, it's time to move on.
After he released the song, which features a pixelated photo of Kim Kardashian from a couple of years ago, he tweeted "It's not serious!" and it isn't, but child move on! Since his sister Brandy made her mark in the industry as a teenager with a number of hit songs and a very popular television show, Ray J has always been known as well, Brandy's little brother. He had a couple of successful singles on his own, but no one was really checking for him until a tape of a sexual nature was released featuring him and his then girlfriend Kim K. engaging in some boring antics. He got two reality shows on VH1 from this sudden burst of fame, but does anyone still care about him in that way?
Whether you think the song is funny or not, you have to admit it's pretty childish. You can listen to it here via MTV and decide for yourself if you think Ray J is telling the truth about the song not being about anyone in particular. "They just gotta keep it on the surface. I'm not trying to create no war, it's all love; we're doing music."
Yeah, yeah, ok dude. I think what bothers me the most is that I'm defending Kim yet again! What is this world coming to?!
Written by: Brittani
No, I am not a fan of Kim Kardashian. I am also not a fan of people giving her crap for gaining weight during her pregnancy. Does weight gain need to be covered in high school health classes, because apparently grown men, and unfortunately too many women, don't understand what the female body goes through during a pregnancy.
A lot of frankly gross stuff happens to you when you carry around a human for 9 months. It's like being in your own horror movie. I personally wouldn't know because I don't have a child, but i'll save that lonely ass post for another day. The most obvious thing that happens to you is that you gain weight. In your face, your neck, your ass, everywhere! But why is it that people are surprised at how big some women get, or that a woman doesn't instantly bounce back to her pre-baby weight after giving birth?
You can a little (or a LOT) of the blame on celebrity moms that go on about how easy it was to lose their baby weight; you know, with a personal trainer and a live in chef (or by more sinister means?). You can blame blogs and websites that write headlines like "Can you believe this Supermodel gave birth only 5 weeks ago?!!!!." But don't blame a woman for not looking like Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair throughout her entire pregnancy.
Kim and Kate Middleton are apparently due around the same time, but you wouldn't know that because the Duchess is sporting a "cute, little bump" usually hidden under coats. While Kardashian has been seen in some outright terrible outfits, highlighting her quickly growing belly. (Granted, she may still be barfing, which oddly happens to naturally thin women sometimes.)
I can't help but be mad at Kanye West, who has been "styling" her since they began dating, for making her wear some of these things. She's obviously uncomfortable, and maybe it's not just the clothes. Kim doesn't seem to be having a cute pregnancy, like her man's ex Amber Rose. Even though she reportedly wants to start being more private, she has to be out there for the attention because babies are money. Hell, baby bumps are money, but I doubt we'll be seeing her posing nude on the cover of a magazine.
Not every woman is happy about the changes that happen during a pregnancy, and i'm sure we won't be hearing her talk about the "miracle of childbirth" after that baby waltzes out. Kim Kardashian is having a "real" pregnancy, and there's nothing wrong with that, but that's not keeping her from working out seven days a week, according to what a source told the New York Post.
I think it's a little sad that so many famous and non-famous women put this pressure on themselves to always be glowing and act like they don't have to pee every hour on the hour. If Kim were as smart as some people claim she is, she would be designing a maternity clothing line so she could stop squeezing herself into designer clothes that aren't even made for her normal size. STOP letting Kanye dress you, you're a grown woman. You don't have to be front row at every fashion show. Take a page from your sister's book and just happy and pregnant.
So look Kim, I may not like you, but I'm not cool with people comparing you to a whale either. The weight and the aches and pains aren't fun, but it's normal and there's always a Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig endorsement to get.
It worked for Jessica Simpson. Until...ooops! Pregnant aginnn?
Written by: Brittani
Poor Kimmy. Is it me or does she look miserable already?
This is no fakey collapsing Beyonce` belly we have here. We are going to see more photos of the Kimye belly than ever thought possible. So just be prepared.
Now I wanna give a sympathy dry-heave on Kim's behalf. Ugh.
Photo: @KimKardashian via Instagram
Have you noticed that ever since Kim Kardashian has been, umm dating Kanye West that she's toned down on the overly made-up-ness that she's known for? I have, because I have nothing better to do than analyze crap like that. (No wonder my head hurts all the time.) Kanye has a tendency to
demand give suggestions to his girlfriends regarding their appearance.
Anyway. Girlfriend is actually looking gorgeous in her one-piece plunging swimsuit, don't you think?