Dipped In Cream
26Jul/102

Angelina tries to discipline Maddox and Pax in Japan, while Shiloh pretends she doesn’t know any of them.

Maddox, smacking Pax up...look what Pax is wearing, forpitysake.

As a mother of 2 boys, I can SEE Angie is NOT in charge. (Giggle..)

Oh boy.  I got the "church giggles" looking at these photos.  I have two boys.  (Really?? I hadn't heard!)  Sure, they're in their 20's now, but it feels like yesterday that Hunter, the younger one would go totally ape-shit when Alex (6 years older) "smiled mean" at him. (That smug, know-it-all, gonna drive you crazy face...he still does it.  Sigh.)

Let's revisit one of the better stories of my two naughties:

Alex would tease and make fun of  a then 9-year old Hunter til he flipped right out. I came home from work at Nordstrom one night to find Alex grinning that "he's smilin' at me MEAN" smile that drove Hunter out of his ever-lovin' mind.

"Uhhhhhh...Hunter chased me around the house with a knife saying he was gonna 'effing kill' me", was Alex's side of the story.

Like any other good, wholesome mother, I stifled my laughter for about  five minutes, then gave Hunter the talk.

"Now, Honey. You shouldn't chase your brother with a knife, mmkay?" (I could hear that "Butthead" laugh of Alex's in the hallway as I chatted with the little brother. HUH HUH  HUH HUH)

I love that story. Isn't it just precious?

GAWD. I posted that lovely little story last year (in reference to the bratty Oasis Gallagher brothers, Liam and Noel).  Fighty dogs.  I can't help it.  Little boys make me laugh.  Their antics, their teasing, their TV shows...all of it.  I wanted to have two boys...and did I ever.

Beavis (Cousin Logan) and Butthead (Alex!)-circa 1993/Halloween

I know that look on Angie's face.  She wants to laugh; but she's in public and would be called a terrible mother by every media outlet (except mine!) ,if she joined in the fun.  Now having said that?  Teenage boys aren't as much fun as grade-school boys. They're every bit as emotionally nutty as girls, no matter what anyone says.  Hormones, girlfriends, lazy-ass-ness...my hair was on fire more than it wasn't with irritation.  But. (She said, "butt"...) I have more inside jokes with those two boys STILL than I do with anyone else...and it's awesome.  We speak in shorthand. (Now my affinity for Beavis and Butthead, South Park, Mallrats, etc. makes total sense, right?)

Any mothers of boys out there who GET this??

Written by: Diva Julia

7Jul/100

Who’s the dude whispering in Enrique Iglesias’s ear?

Code word: COTTAGING.

I know.  It's probably NOT who it looks like whispering something (allegedly?) nasty to Enrique.  It's just super-funny...because of who he looks like.

Is it just me?

Written by: Diva Julia

5Jul/101

Justin Bieber gets sprayed on TV in New Zealand

By: DivaJulia

Bieber, looking down his nose.

I used to babysit a kid when I was 13, who would flip the eff OUT if his clothing got the slightest bit damp. I mean, he'd go ape-shit. Screaming, crying, flailing, the whole bit.  I had never seen such a thing, and had actually forgotten about it until today.

I give you--Justin Bieber, being sorta "Punk'd" on a New Zealand TV show:

Big. Fat. Sissy.  (And I mean that in the nicest way possible.)

Written by: Diva Julia

2Jul/102

Official Deathly Hallows Poster – I guess it all ends here?

Typical orange/blue-get-your-attention colos, but kind of awesome.

So, there's the franchise of films involving a kid-dude named Harry Potter.  Huh.  First I've heard of it...oh, and books, too?  Whaaa?

I guess Harry wears glasses and has a pathological/religious fetishistic fascination with horses?  Is Sarah Jessica Parker in this film, too?

Oh, hush up.  I'm just being funny...to ME, anyway.

Daniel Radcliffe in Hairy Equus. (With SJP.)

Oh man.  I'm a ruh-tard.

Written by: Diva Julia

29Jun/105

Victoria Beckham’s Posh New Hairdo, and Naomi Campbell is going BALD.

Posh is back to weavin'.

Romeo Beckham and his hot Mama.

Victoria Beckham showed off her new long do while arriving in the south of France with her three boys for a little vacation at the couple's chateau.  Usually, people go shorter in the summer, but she can pull off any hairstyle.  I have to say her asymmetrical bob was one of the better ones .  Unfortunately, there are new rumors that she and her husband, David are heading towards splitsville, again! When are they not though?  If those two ever break up I might shed a tear.  They are one of the few couples I actually like.

Oh. Gurrrl.

Later, that same day...WEAVIN' IT UP!

Speaking of hair, during a photoshoot for Dennis Basso in New York the other day, someone caught a pic of what a lot of people have suspected for some time. Naomi Campbell is going bald! She's been modeling for over half her life and it seems all the weaves have finally caught up with her.

Somewhere, Tyra is smizing and laughing her ass her off.   Whatever, she's still fierce.

Photos: Splash/BigPicture

Written by: Diva Julia

10Jun/105

I need a good laugh today — do you? (NSFW, Bitches.)

Hunter and Jessica's Mugshots

I KNOW. I'm late on the "Hunter and Jessica" train. Thanks to my buddy/fellow-blogger PoorBritney and our mutual friend who shall remain nameless for now, I was turned on to the awesomeness that IS Hunter and Jessica.  (And NO, smartasses, it's not MY SON, Hunter in these fantastic videos. I bloody WISH.)

I nearly Peed. My. Pants. "Five hundred pound shut-in." "DSW Shoe Warehouse Manager!" Only a queer and his hag can talk to each other that way. I should know.

Ummm...sorry if I offended anyone. But if you're still reading this? "Walmart Urine Mopper."

And I'm not sorry.

Photo: Amazeballs

Written by: Diva Julia

30May/102

Kingston Rossdale gets a mani-pedi for his 4th birthday. Really?

Mama Gwen and Crybaby Kingston Photos: INFphoto.com

Toes DON'T match his fingers. C'MON.

Now listen.  Y'all know I have two grown boys.  One of them (guess which one)...at 11 years of age...OH HIS OWN, decided to go a little punk/goth.  This was around 2000-2001, I think.   It was all the rage for budding rockstars to paint their fingernails black, bleach their hair, then dye the tips with blood red Manic Panic from Hot Topic, right?  The amount of AquaNet hairspray we went through was crazy.  He grew out of that stage, and now has far so many chicks chasing him that it kind of makes me sick.  Oh well.

But Kingston Rossdale.  Oi. Gwen.  Stop it.  You can afford IVF and even Gender Selection if you want a girl that badly (oh, be quiet, you guys).  People do it.  Ethical or not.  I don't care if Kingston ends up on RuPaul's Drag Race, Season 20, I really don't.  Just let it be Crybaby's choice, forpitysake.  That's gonna be his drag name, bank on it.

Written by: Diva Julia

17Apr/100

Julia Roberts and son, Phinnaeus in Malibu

Bleh. Julia Roberts. Photo: X17Online.com

A couple of things I think are odd in this photo:

1.)  Julia Roberts is smiling and waving (while carrying her enormous kid who should be walking);

and

2.) Julia's son, Phinnaeus is wearing Beatle Boots with shorts to the beach.   Awesome.

That is all.

Written by: Diva Julia

8Apr/102

Hey, Lindsay Lohan? How’s your lawsuit against e*Trade going?

Milka-whaaa?

I've been wondering how Lindsay's lawsuit against e*Trade has been going.  I mean, have depositions been scheduled for the toddler who uttered the hilarious "MILKA-WHAAAA?" line in the commercial?  I hope the attorneys ask if the little girl used Method Acting as her motivation to give her now-iconic line.  Did the 2-year old, in fact, spend time with Tipsy McDrunkerFall to "get into character"? You know, like Demi Moore did, back in the day, when she hung out with strippers for her role in "Striptease"?  I'll wager that she did and that she was Lindsay's designated driver.

Lindsay and her grubby hands April 6th, after partying at Bardot Lounge in Hollywood.

It's called sarcasm, y'all.  But really.  WTF?

Written by: Diva Julia

29Mar/101

Chaz Bono’s sexual reassignment is legally approved by a judge!

Ooops. (It's funny, though.)

via TMZ.com

According to the docs, on September 23, 2009, Dr. Michael Brownstein performed the operation.

The specifics of the procedure are not outlined, but the Dr. says, "Chaz Bono has completed his gender reassignment surgery."

Okay, okay. The REAL Chaz Bono.

In the "Petition for Change of Name and Gender" filed with the court, Chaz asks for a legal change from female to male.

Wow. Two sorta controversial posts in a row.  I love it.  Really.

Written by: Diva Julia