I'm THISCLOSE to starting a new blog called PoorKate.com. Seriously. This painting had to be chosen by the Queen and her Horse-in-Law, Camilla. I can see these two biddies elbowing each other and snickering behind Poor Kate's back. Or right in FRONT of her back. Wrinkles, bags and jowls. Oh my.
As IF Kate doesn't feel crappy enough with her difficult and barfy pregnancy, she has to presented with an Official Portrait of her poor self looking like she's never seen the light of day, but has aged 25 years since her wedding day, all while still wearing that blue dress.
I'm tempted to Photoshop this horrible thing on Poor Kate's behalf. What do YOU guys think? Is it just me??
Halleluherrr! Kate's PREGNANT! This lovely news has been confirmed, according to the duke and duchess' official website (which has crashed due to, well, all of us flipping right out) and by formal statement, announcing The Duchess's condition:
Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby.
The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news.
The Duchess was admitted this afternoon to King Edward VII Hospital in Central London with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter.
The poor thing, though. For those of us who know about
morning all-day sickness for all nine months, I feel for her. Acute morning sickness is real. I think I'm getting a sympathy barf on deck just talking about it.
SO exciting...but oh, Kate. I have one bit of advice. Brush your teeth during your shower. (Not even gonna go into detail why.) Honey, just get it all over with at once.
My Royal Family Dorkiness has been renewed!
I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't advise you of some new photos of Kate Middleton from her nude sunbathing holiday with William. Yeah. See what I did there? I made it sound as if I have some kind of duty to inform you about (gulp) bottomless pics of love Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge taken with a crazy-huge lens unbeknownst to her.
The photos which were seemingly copied from a spread in the Scandinavian magazine Se og Hør (which translates to See and Hear), are on Egostastic.com. Someone needs to start a PoorKate.com. Seriously.
"We are a leading gossip magazine in Denmark, and it is my job to publish them," Kim Henningsen said, via the Belfast Telegraph.
Taken with a very long lens the grainy images show Will slathering Kate's back and bottom with lotion as she pulls down her bikini.
A rep for the royals declined to comment, telling E! News, "Our stance is the same as before—we aren't commenting on any further legal action save to say all proportionate responses will be kept under review."
Scandalous Kate pics could fetch $1 million.
In other words, Denmark is on notice.
Ten days ago, lawyers for Will and Kate obtained an injunction against Closer for breach of privacy. The magazine was ordered to pull the topless pics and hand over all digital copies. A French court has also launched a criminal probe into whether the tabloid and the photographer should face prosecution. Separately, the editor for the Irish Daily Star was suspended for giving the go-ahead for his paper to publish some of the topless images.
I know. All y'all care about is the LINK. Fine. Go! I'll spare you my alternately outraged yet perversely curious rant.
I love that little blond Master Tom Pettifer who's being a total camera-hog. And there's "Grumpy Grace" van Cutsem with that sour puss she's becoming so famous for...more on that later.
Earlier today, the newlyweds went on a small walk-about, looking every bit the happy couple.
It's being reported that William and Kate are not rushing into a honeymoon. I do hope they are left alone when they do go on a nice holiday. (Of course, I'll post the photos on Dipped in Cream if they are NOT left alone!)
Ooooh! This is exciting! People.com has revealed British designer Nicki Macfarlane crafted the dresses that will be worn by the princess-to-be's wedding party.
Middleton will have five in her wedding party: sister Pippa, 26, Lady Louise Windsor, 7, the Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones, 8, and three-year-olds Grace van Cutsem and Eliza Lopes.
Macfarlane's bespoke dresses tend to run about $600 each and are usually crafted from silk and taffeta. Above, two adorable models wear Macfarlane's confections -- available to the general public for the un-kingly sum of $356 each.
Oh mah Lerrrrd. This is getting more exciting by the minute!