Tag Archives: Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker Is Causing A Stir On Harper’s Bazaar China Cover

What’s the problem?

I’m usually the first one out of the gate to make a snotty remark about the Sarah, Jessica and Parker Stables, but I don’t really see anything terribly wrong with the Chinese cover of Harper’s Bazaar Spring Edition.

It also looks like we’ll get a peek inside of her fancy Tribeca Stable Loft, as well as some of SJP’s favorite choices in exclusive hoof-wear by the very talented Iris Scheiferstein.

In fact, we found a few pair of Iris’s handiwork right off the runway racetrack…take a look, won’t you?

The White Front-Zip Hoof Bootie

 And your everyday shoe/hoof/bootie is everyone’s favorite, right?

Fantastic, really.

Hold on to your riding hats, because you will rear UP when you see the exquisite Tribeca Stables for Sarah, Jessica and Parker.

Breathtaking, isn’t it?

The life of an aging Sex and the City old gray mare is pretty fabulous, isn’t it?

Gaaaaaah. FINE. Here’s the REAL magazine cover that the whole world is flipping out over due to the alien-horsification of SJP.

 

Frankly, we did a more authentic job, thankyouverymuch.

Sarah Jessica Parker in ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ – I’ll Tell You How, My Friends

Oh, for eff's sake.

Allow me to set the tone here. I’m hungry, thus I have a headache. It’s gorgeous outside and I should be outside freckling tanning my blubber without sunscreen.

Now this.  And by “this” I mean the Official Horse Trailer to Sarah Jessica Parker’s idiotic new film, “I Don’t Know How She Does It”.  (In case anyone is concerned–and I know you aren’t–I do have a bucket of slimy, hay-filled water from the County Fair barn to douse my hair that is once again on fire, thankyouverymuch.)

Watch this lame piece of crap, won’t you?

Okay. Now.  I have ONE. SINGLE. WORD that smacked me in the face while watching this whiny, privileged, married and living in a crazy-expensive home in New York City while wearing crazy-expensive clothing working mother of two:  NANNY.  The End. Seriously. End of GOTdamn story.

"The Sarah" - by Manolo Blahnik

I swear, if I have to see that mare struggling to dress herself and cram her hoof into a shoe while looking oh, so darling and disheveled (it’s all the rage, you know), I will pull an Elvis and shoot my GOTdamn Magnavox television set that is sitting on top of my worshin’ machine.

The very idea of this film is stale and insulting to women who HAVE to work for a low to average wage, living in a crappy apartment, bills up her bum,  perhaps raising those precious children without a husband at all, and a…don’t make me say it again–NANNY.  Now there’s the real question!  How does SHE do it??  But that wouldn’t make for an interesting movie, now would it?

Oh, believe me, I get that a movie is supposed to be a form of escapism, so don’t EVEN.  That’s why I lean toward thrillers featuring ballet and black birds and anything starring Paul Rudd or Anthony Hopkins.  I’ll take a funny-smart dude or a crazy-sexy older psychopath ANY day over this drivel.

 

So.  Just how does SJP “do it” exactly?  I know you’re still wondering, so I did a little research all in the name of…I don’t know what.

The Horse Beauty Kit, complete with shampoo, spray-on mane de-tangler and toothbrushes!

Don’t forget the accessories!

Who says you can't wear florals in Autumn?

Clearly…the equine-set have an awful lot to teach us how they “do it”, don’t they?