Of course, no one REALLY knows what Adele was saying to Chris Brown last night at the Grammy Awards, but let's all hope that she was reaming him a new one for being utterly disrespectful to Frank Ocean's win by staying seated when everyone else STOOD in appreciation.
I'd really love to believe that Adele had some curt words to say to this asshole, but inasmuch as we also have this photo, it might just be wishful thinking for those of us who don't care for the rude, abusive behavior that Brown continues to work (to his advantage?).
What do you guys think? Oh, and also...let's take a moment to remember something that took place four years ago on Grammy Night, shall we?
Photo on right via TMZ
What a difference four years make, huh? Ugh.
Written by: Diva Julia
Despite a ridiculous ban on certain "puffy" body parts, the red carpet for the 55th Annual Grammy Awards was filled with revealing dresses. There were legs, side and under boobs and even an astronaut. Mostly everyone looked good, but there were some questionable choices. Check out the fashions!
Upon first look, I didn't like Beyonce's Osman Yusefzada jumpsuit, but when we finally caught a full shot of Bey I fell in love with it. Different, and it let her show off her beautiful shape.
Her BFF and group mate Kelly Rowland also stunned in this Georges Chakra dress with sheer stripes.
Kat Dennings didn't look broke in this Vivienne Westwood number.
Nas didn't look to happy to be at the show last night, but he looked good anyways.
Katy Perry's California Girls were front and center in this mint green Gucci. It was enough for us to ignore her date for the festivities.
Florence Welch channeling King Koopa in a custom made Givenchy with spikes.
Justin Timberlake in Tom Ford. He's been looking....different these days. Maybe it's the hair.
Jennifer Lopez also said EFF THE BAN and wowed in a revealing Anthony Vaccarello dress.
My boyfriend Jack White, who may or may not be dead, but he definitely looked good in his suit.
Taylor Swift in a grecian style white dress. At least it wasn't sparkly.
Wiz Khalifa also wore Tom Ford as he arrived with his very pregnant fiance Amber Rose who squeezed herself into a Donna Karan dress.
Carrie Underwood's black Roberto Cavalli was a little boring, but she made up for it with that light up dress on stage.
The men of Maroon 5, all in black.
Rihanna's nips peeked through her red Azzedine Alaia, but we didn't mind.
Mermaid fairy Kimbra wore Australian designer Jaime Lee Major.
Janelle Monae, always fly in a suit.
Frank Ocean actually smiled on the red carpet. It was his first Grammys and he wore a custom Band of Outsiders suit.
Oh Adele. It's great that she wore color, and it's Valentino! It's not great that it looks like she stripped an old couch Scarlett O'Hara-style.
One of my other boyfriends, Mr. 2 Chainz. His whole look is everything I never knew I wanted.
Portia, Ellen and Katy's Boobs
I guess we know who Ellen was most impressed with...how 'bout y'all?
Shocking, I know! I enjoyed this year's show so much more than last year's, even though I had to hit mute a couple of times. Apparently some of those cute little gramophone trophies were given out over the course of the three and a half hour show, but there were some good performances too. One of them wasn't from Taylor Swift, who had the honor of opening the show. The tired "Alice In Wonderland" circus themed didn't make "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" any more of a good song.
Miguel brought some much needed R&B sexiness to the show with "Adorn" and he earned a fan in Kelly Clarkson who gave him a shout out when she won for "Best Pop Vocal Album." It was too short though, and a bit awkward when he had to introduce the nominees for "Best Country Solo Performance."
Of course everyone, except perhaps me, was waiting for the big return of Justin Timberlake. I'm not totally against this comeback, it's just that after 7 years, he could be doing something better than "Suit & Tie." Jay-Z joined him on stage in this sepia toned performance that I expected to switch to color when they landed on the Wicked Witch of The East. He also sang "Lover Pusher Girl," another new song from his upcoming album.
Alicia, it's time to extinguish "Girl On Fire." No matter how many times you perform this and remix it, it's still going to annoy us and I like you ok! Mrs. Keys-Beatz joined Maroon 5 for a collaboration that could have been better, but Adam Levine and Alicia sounded good together. It's safe to say that Jay-Z was the winner of the night. When he hopped on stage to accept the award for "Best Rap/Sung Collaboration" a one Mr. Terius Nash, aka The-Dream, tried to do a bit too much with his speech and his outfit. Jay thanked the "swap meet" his hat came from.
There was also some rock from winners The Black Keys, who brought down the house with Dr. John and The Preservation Jazz Hall Band on "Lonely Boy." Apparently that was Dr. John in the crazy looking headdress. I thought that furrie from 'The Shining' had gotten loose. The Lumineers shouted at everyone again, then Jack White took to the stage with both of his bands for "Love Interruption" and "Freedom at 21."
I think White gained a lot of new fans with vaginas after this.
The big Bob Marley tribute could have been way bigger. His sons Damien and Ziggy joined Bruno Mars, Sting and Rihanna on only two of his songs, most of it felt like a Bruno gig, which wasn't a bad thing. I couldn't help but think how awesome Lauryn Hill could have been during this, hell even Wyclef Jean could have played guitar or something. As always Mars' band got down and to echo something that was said on Twitter, if you don't like Bruno Mars then something is wrong with your life.
Gotye and Kimbra won the coveted "Record of The Year" which was presented to them by the always amazing Prince, who strutted out on stage with a blinged out cane. Before announcing them as the winners he exclaimed "Oh, I like this song!" There's no bigger award than having The Purple One say that he likes your music!
Chick Corea, Stanley Clarke and Kenny Garrett played a lovely tribute to Dave Brubeck with "Take Five." Then another amazing group tribute to Levon Helm featuring Elton John, Zac Brown, Mumford & Sons, T Bone Burnett, Brittany Howard and the great Mavis Staples. "The Weight" by The Band has never felt more poignant, and it'll be stuck in my head all day.
Frank Ocean made quite the splash at the show, picking up a couple of awards including "Urban Contemporary Album," and presenting a visually stunning performance of "Forrest Gump." I'm sure Chris Brown decided to be salty and not stand up or clap for him again.
I'm a little surprised at how quickly the show went by. LL Cool J was an ok enough host, but it was so funny to watch him try to make those damn hashtags happen. He closed out the show with Chuck D, Tom Morrello and Travis Barker, throwing in a little Beastie Boys. It was an awkward and abrupt end to show, but it was nice to see LL back in his, original, element.
Here's the full list of Grammy winners:
Record of the Year: "Somebody That I Used to Know," Gotye featuring Kimbra
Album of the Year: Babel, Mumford & Sons
Song of the Year: "We Are Young," fun. featuring Janelle Monáe
Best New Artist: fun.
Best Pop Solo Performance: "Set Fire to the Rain," Adele
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: "Somebody That I Used to Know," Gotye featuring Kimbra
Best Pop Instrumental Album: Impressions, Chris Botti
Best Pop Vocal Album: Stronger, Kelly Clarkson
Best Dance Recording: Bangarang, Skrillex featuring Sirah
Best Dance/Electronica Album: Bangarang, Skrillex
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album: Kisses on the Bottom, Paul McCartney
Best Rock Performance: Lonely Boy, The Black Keys
Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance: "Love Bites (So Do I)," Halestrom
Best Rock Song: "Lonely Boy," The Black Keys
Best Rock Album: El Camino, The Black Keys
Best Alternative Music Album: Making Mirrors, Gotye
Best R&B Performance: "Climax," Usher
Best Traditional R&B Performance: "Love on Top," Beyoncé
Best R&B Song: "Adorn," Miguel
Best Urban Contemporary Album: Channel Orange, Frank Ocean
Best R&B Album: Black Radio, Robert Glasper Experiment
Best Rap Performance: "N****s in Paris," Jay-Z and Kayne West
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: "No Church In The Wild," Jay-Z and Kanye West featuring Frank Ocean and The Dream
Best Rap Song: "N****s in Paris," Jay-Z and Kayne West
Best Rap Album: Take Care, Drake
Best Country Solo Performance: "Blown Away," Carrie Underwood
Best Country Duo/Group Performance: Pontoon, Little Big Town
Best Country Song: "Blown Away," Carrie Underwood
Best Country Album: Uncaged, Zac Brown Band
Best New Age Album: Echoes of Love, Omar Akram
Best Improvised Jazz Solo: "Hot House," Gary Burton and Chick Corea
Best Jazz Vocal Album: Radio Music Society, Esperanza Spalding
Best Jazz Instrumental Album: Unity Band, Pat Metheny Unity Band
Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album: Dear Diz (Every Day I Think Of You), Arturo Sandoval
Best Latin Jazz Album: ¡Ritmo!, The Clare Fischer Latin Jazz Big Band
Best Gospel/Contemporary Christian Music Performance: "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)," Matt Redman
Best Gospel Song: "Go Get It," Erica Campbell, Tina Campbell & Warryn Campbell
Best Contemporary Christian Music Song: "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)," Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman
Best Gospel Album: Gravity, Lecrae
Best Contemporary Christian Music Album: Eye on It, TobyMac
Best Latin Pop Album: MTV Unplugged Deluxe Edition, Juanes
Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album: Imaginaries, Quetzal
Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano): Pecados Y Milagros, Lila Downs
Best Tropical Latin Album: Retro, Marlow Rosado Y La Riqueña
Best Americana Album: Slipstream, Bonnie Raitt
Best Bluegrass Album: Nobody Knows You, Steep Canyon Rangers
Best Blues Album: Locked Down, Dr. John
Best Folk Album: "The Goat Rodeo Sessions," Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris Thile
Best Regional Roots Music Album: The Band Courtbouillon, Wayne Toups, Steve Riley and Wilson Savoy
Best Reggae Album: Rebirth, Jimmy Cliff
Best World Music Album: The Living Room Sessions Part 1, Ravi Shankar
Best Children's Album: Can You Canoe?, The Okee Dokee Brothers
Best Spoken Word Album: Society's Child: My Autobiography, Janis Ian
Best Comedy Album: Blow Your Pants Off, Jimmy Fallon
Best Musical Theater Album: Once: A New Musical, Steve Kazee and Cristin Milioti
Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media: Midnight in Paris
Best Score Soundtrack For Visual Media: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Best Song Written For Visual Media: "Safe & Sound" (from The Hunger Games), T Bone Burnett, Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars
Best Instrumental Composition: "Mozart Goes Dancing," Chick Corea
Best Instrumental Arrangement: "How About You," Gil Evans
Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s): "City Of Roses," Thara Memory & Esperanza Spalding
Best Recording Package: Biophilia, Michael Amzalag and Mathias Augustyniak
Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: Woody At 100: The Woody Guthrie Centennial Collection, Fritz Klaetke
Best Album Notes: Singular Genius: The Complete ABC Singles, Billy Vera, album notes writer (Ray Charles)
Best Historical Album: The Smile Sessions (Deluxe Box Set), Alan Boyd, Mark Linett, Brian Wilson and Dennis Wolfe
Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical: The Goat Rodeo Sessions, Richard King
Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical: Dan Auerbach
Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: "Promises (Skrillex & Nero remix)," Skrillex
Best Surround Sound Album: Modern Cool, Jim Anderson
Best Engineered Album, Classical: Life & Breath, Tom Caulfield & John Newton
Producer of the Year, Classical: Blanton Alspaugh
Best Orchestral Performance: Adams: "Harmonielehre & Short Ride In A Fast Machine," Michael Tilson Thomas
Best Opera Recording: "Wagner: Der Ring Des Nibelungen," James Levine & Fabio Luisi
Best Choral Performance: "Life & Breath - Choral Works By René Clausen," Charles Bruffy
Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance: "Meanwhile," Eighth Blackbird
Best Classical Instrumental Solo: "Kurtág & Ligeti: Music For Viola," Kim Kashkashian
Best Classical Vocal Solo: "Poèmes," Renée Fleming
Best Classical Compendium: "Penderecki: Fonogrammi; Horn Concerto; Partita; The Awakening Of Jacob; Anaklasis," Antoni Wit
Best Contemporary Classical Composition: "Hartke, Stephen: Meanwhile - Incidental Music To Imaginary Puppet Plays," Stephen Hartke
Best Short Form Music Video: "We Found Love," Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris
Best Long Form Music Video: "Big Easy Express," Mumford & Sons
Jeez. Simmer down, CBS. What year is this, anyway?
Check out the missile (old-timey words are in order) sent out to The Grammy Awards attendees from the Butt Cheek and Side Boob Malitia:
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
I'm cringing at the word "puffy". Ew. Why not just use the equally gross term "camel toe"? Also? Where are the references to the male peen bulge (See: Jon Hamm-Roll)? I'm finding this entire statement by CBS incredibly sexist.
I love Bruno Mars...a LOT. I just think that if we're headed back to the days of Elvis on The Ed Sullivan Show, it should be IN WRITING for everyone. MEN, included!
Written by: Diva Julia
It was a bit of a somber red carpet in the wake of the death of Whitney Houston, but that didn't put a total damper on things. The dresses were ok, the guys looked good, obviously people had a lot on their minds, but they still came to party. Check out the best, and the WTF, of the red carpet.
Kelly Rowland in Alberta Ferretti
Corinne Bailey Rae looking cute in Christian Siriano
Adam Levine with girlfriend Anne V.
Fergie in a neon orange couture dress from Jean Paul Gaultier's latest collection
Jessie J in a metallic dress by Julien Macdonald
Katy Perry matched her hair to her light blue Elie Saab
Adele made her comeback in Armani
The Foo Fighters (aka Dipped in Cream's Boos!) being cute on the carpet
Nicki Minaj left the Vatican, in Versace no less.
But the award for worst red carpet outfit goes to this chick, Sasha Gradiva.
We don't know who she is either. Of course this is all Lady Gaga's, who didn't walk the carpet but is in attendance, fault.