Maddox, smacking Pax up...look what Pax is wearing, forpitysake.

As a mother of 2 boys, I can SEE Angie is NOT in charge. (Giggle..)

Oh boy.  I got the "church giggles" looking at these photos.  I have two boys.  (Really?? I hadn't heard!)  Sure, they're in their 20's now, but it feels like yesterday that Hunter, the younger one would go totally ape-shit when Alex (6 years older) "smiled mean" at him. (That smug, know-it-all, gonna drive you crazy face...he still does it.  Sigh.)

Let's revisit one of the better stories of my two naughties:

Alex would tease and make fun of  a then 9-year old Hunter til he flipped right out. I came home from work at Nordstrom one night to find Alex grinning that "he's smilin' at me MEAN" smile that drove Hunter out of his ever-lovin' mind.

"Uhhhhhh...Hunter chased me around the house with a knife saying he was gonna 'effing kill' me", was Alex's side of the story.

Like any other good, wholesome mother, I stifled my laughter for about  five minutes, then gave Hunter the talk.

"Now, Honey. You shouldn't chase your brother with a knife, mmkay?" (I could hear that "Butthead" laugh of Alex's in the hallway as I chatted with the little brother. HUH HUH  HUH HUH)

I love that story. Isn't it just precious?

GAWD. I posted that lovely little story last year (in reference to the bratty Oasis Gallagher brothers, Liam and Noel).  Fighty dogs.  I can't help it.  Little boys make me laugh.  Their antics, their teasing, their TV shows...all of it.  I wanted to have two boys...and did I ever.

Beavis (Cousin Logan) and Butthead (Alex!)-circa 1993/Halloween

I know that look on Angie's face.  She wants to laugh; but she's in public and would be called a terrible mother by every media outlet (except mine!) ,if she joined in the fun.  Now having said that?  Teenage boys aren't as much fun as grade-school boys. They're every bit as emotionally nutty as girls, no matter what anyone says.  Hormones, girlfriends, lazy-ass-ness...my hair was on fire more than it wasn't with irritation.  But. (She said, "butt"...) I have more inside jokes with those two boys STILL than I do with anyone else...and it's awesome.  We speak in shorthand. (Now my affinity for Beavis and Butthead, South Park, Mallrats, etc. makes total sense, right?)

Any mothers of boys out there who GET this??

Related posts:

1. OY! Happy Birthday, Liam Gallagher – You Dumbass, You.
2. Are “Beavis and Butthead” returning to MTV??? (EEEEEEEK!!) Videos
3. Brad, Angelina and Kids Fly to Japan? My Head Hurts.

Jaden (The Smug!) Smith

Willow (Baby, I'mma a ROCKSTAR) Smith. She's 9 years old, people.

I think I've made it clear in the past that I do not care for Jaden Smith.  He presents himself as a smug, spoiled brat, and I think his parents encourage his childish elitism.  Now we have little sister, Willow, who appears to think she's Rihanna.  And, why may I ask, is this little girl signing autographs in London?  Because she made a cameo in a movie one of her dad's films?

Here's the thing.  I did allow my son Hunter to "express himself" when he was in 5th and 6th grade.  We went through the bleached, spikey hair, black nailpolish, and even...wait for it...tiny butterfly clips.  Yeah.  I know.  Hunter got so much sh*t from every teacher--except his OWN teacher, the wonderful Mrs. Waterman, for wearing those clips.  So naturally, being the hot-head that I was (ahem), I had to make a stink about the other small-minded teachers who kept complaining about my kid's HAIR.  Say it with me:  "Ahhh, HELLLL NAAAWW!"  I gotta give it to the Principal, though.  She was great and agreed that the teachers who said Hunter's hair was "distracting" were full of crap, (my words) and being sexist, thus allowing him to do whatever he wanted with his hair.

Take a gander, won't you?  (Again.  Thank the Lawd that Hunter doesn't read Mama's blog...he'd kill me.)

Ahhh, yes. Hunter's 10th birthday party.

and...

Hunter as Billy Idol - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Hunter, age 12 1/2. What a difference 18 months made.

And...Hunter now.

So, I do believe in letting kids express themselves, apparently.  I just don't don't care for smug, bratty Hollywood kids as a rule.  (Clearly, the Jolie-Pitt clan are not included in this rant.  Just look at Chaz Shiloh!)

Jeez.  Leave to Dina Lohan Mama to turn this into a Hunter post.

Related posts:

1. I Loathe Will Smith’s Kid, Jaden. **WARNING** Kid Bashing Ahead.
2. I Can’t Find the Motivation to Talk About Celebrity Gossip.
3. Today’s Blind Item – Brat Edition

Brad and Angie at SALT Premiere

Angie's dad, Jon Voight and brother James Haven

Angie, wearing one of her own pieces from the "The Protector" line by Asprey

My GOODNESS, everyone looks happy, don't they?  Almost a little cray-cray happy, but what do we expect from Angie and Brad?  I do indeed love this couple, but I'm the first to admit that I think they're nutty.

I am still creeped out Jon Voight.  I have my own horrible thoughts regarding him as a father.  Bleh.  And whenever I see James, I think of Angie in "Girl Interrupted" screaming, "WHERE'S JAMIE?!??!?!" in Winona's face.  (Angie calls her brother James "Jamie" and used his name in this scene...)

On the brighter, lighter side of things, I'm still so happy to see Brad looking good.  God, those people who Fight the Pretty just piss me off.  Oh, and yes.  I do think Angelina looks thin.

Related posts:

1. Brad and Angelina at "Inglourious Basterds" L.A. Premiere – GASP!
2. Stop the presses!! Brad Pitt SHAVED and is HOT again!
3. Brad and Angelina Split! Wait. “Everyone’s fine.”

So, we here in the Seattle area, who were all set to watch (or DVR) Nightline last night to see Cynthia McFadden's interview with Angelina Jolie, only to find that NO ONE had sound on our ABC affiliate, KOMO4TV.  Whether you had satellite or cable, SILENCE.  Even through Jimmy Kimmel was MUTE  Gyaaaah!  So. Here is The Perfect One:

SUPERMOM!!!! Haters? To the left.

Related posts:

1. Tyra Banks does NOT want to "go there", Cynthia McFadden!
2. Jesse James on Nightline tonight – Who’s gonna watch? (VIDEO)
3. Jimmy Kimmel Calls Leno a “Tattle tale”. Sweet!

WOW. Just wow.

And check out the most stunning woman in the universe in hotpants and wrap-around boots.

Seriously stunning.

I've got an excerpt from Angie's interview with Rich Cohen, Contributing Editor of Vanity Fair -- for your reading pleasure -- but we all know this is one issue that is a Must Have:

via VanityFair.com

“No, I’m not pregnant,” Angelina Jolie tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Rich Cohen, from the set of her movie in Venice, Italy. Perhaps in the future? “We’re not opposed to it. But we want to make sure we can give everybody special time. They’re kids now, and can play together, but they’re going to need a lot more talking in the middle of the night, like I did with my mom for hours. We want to make sure we don’t build a family so big that we don’t have absolutely enough time to raise them each really well.”

Jolie says she and Brad Pitt also are not “against getting married,” but “it’s just like we already are. Children are clearly a commitment, a bigger commitment [than marriage]. It’s for life.”

Despite her dedication to her work, she thinks she won’t do it much longer: “It’s not the most important thing in my life. Acting helped me as I was growing up. It helped me learn about myself, helped me travel, helped me understand life, express myself, all those wonderful things. So I’m very, very grateful, it’s a fun job. It’s a luxury. Look, I’m at work today in the middle of Venice. But I don’t think I’ll do it much longer.” Jolie says this reassessment is mostly due to her family: “Because I have a happy home….I got back from work last night, and everybody was playing music and dancing and I suddenly found myself dancing around with a bunch of little fun crazy people.”

All of a sudden, I have Prince's The Most Beautiful Girl in the World stuck in my head.

So here y'all go....this is the sh*t.

Related posts:

1. Wow, Tiger Woods. Nice Vanity Fair cover. Lowest-selling issue ever?
2. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp onset of “The Tourist” in Venice (Pics)
3. Anne Hathaway on the cover of British GQ. “Angelina Jolie is a better movie kisser.”

Jane Pitt, holding Knox; and Angie holdng sister Vivienne in Venice, while give her mother-in-law the side-eye.

I've seen that look before from a daughter-in-law, and God knows I probably deserved it.  Anyway.

Rumor has it that Brad Pitt's parents invited the Jolie-Pitt clan for an nice Easter celebration -- in Missouri -- and that Angie said no and hell no.  I have my doubts about this silly talk.  I truly think Brad's parents might enjoy traveling to Venice, Italy to see the clan knowing that Angie is WORKING in that glorious city.  (I'm not saying Angie looks all that thrilled about the visit...but who knows? Maybe she's just tired. Yeah. THAT'S it.)

Here's a pic of Angelina's co-star Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam (yet again,  beating a dead horse!), Johnny Depp.  Why is his head getting wider??  He's turning into a  giant headed-Kennedy forpitysake.

Johnny Depp - HANDCUFFED!

Always have to include the Separated at Birth-Eddie Vedder pic.

And Angelina, looking luminous, of course!

Who ELSE can look this exquisite in a hooded raincoat?

Oh, and Angie's NOT pregnant, despite the whisperings of another baby on the way.  Just tellin' ya what I heard.  Pass it on.

Related posts:

1. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp onset of “The Tourist” in Venice (Pics)
2. Brad, Angelina with all 8000 of their kids in Venice
3. Johnny Depp Named GQ’s Most Stylish Man in the World

Ooops. (It's funny, though.)

via TMZ.com

According to the docs, on September 23, 2009, Dr. Michael Brownstein performed the operation.

The specifics of the procedure are not outlined, but the Dr. says, "Chaz Bono has completed his gender reassignment surgery."

Okay, okay. The REAL Chaz Bono.

In the "Petition for Change of Name and Gender" filed with the court, Chaz asks for a legal change from female to male.

Wow. Two sorta controversial posts in a row.  I love it.  Really.

Related posts:

1. Chastity Bono to Have Sex Change Operation!
2. Bono? A Diva?
3. Angelina, Shiloh and Zahara at Whole Foods – LOOK AT THOSE BOOTS ON ZAHARA!

Oh, yes.

Tim Burton

Rumor has it that Angelina Jolie may be poised to play the lead character in Tim Burton's new film, "Meleficent".  You know, The Evil Queen in  Sleeping Beauty?

via collider.com

“The wicked fairy godmother is the character who casts the original spell on Sleeping Beauty (a.k.a. Princess Aurora, quoth Wikipedia) that the young girl will prick herself on a splinter and die; Maleficent is an archrival of sorts to the good fairy godmother, who casts a counter-spell that says the girl will sleep for a century and then be awakened by the kiss of a prince. The original versions of the fairy tale don’t name Maleficent; the character was named and shaped by Disney for its 1959 film, and would of course be deepened and amplified for this one.”

Hmmm...

I wonder...is Angie up for the task?

Do you think there is any other actress who could pull this off?  Ummm...durrr.   Here's what I DON'T want to see:  Johnny Depp as The Handsome Prince.  He's too old, and Tim Burton is just going to have to find another muse.  Ya hear that, Tim?  Angelina, YES.  Johnny Depp, NO.

Related posts:

1. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp onset of “The Tourist” in Venice (Pics)
2. Angelina Jolie to play Kay Scarpetta in Action Franchise
3. Tres Jolie in Paris – Angelina filming “The Tourist”

Viv, Mama and Knox, a-bloody-GAIN.

OhdearLordinHEAVEN, they're cute.  But what is going on with Angie doing the Eva Peron on the balcony deal every GD day?

I don't care.  I want to see these gorgeous babies as much as is humanly possible.  They are absolutely darling.

Related posts:

1. Stop everything. Now it’s Angelina and VIVIENNE on the balcony!
2. J.Lo and Skeletor Pimp Out the Twins for Valentine’s Day…
3. Mom of Octuplets – Is it Just Me, Or is She Trying to be Angelina Jolie?

Yep. It's THAT funny.

Oh, babytoes.  LOVE  'em so bad.  Angie and Viv are havin' a laugh at someone else's expense, which I think is funny. Mean, mean, FUNNY, mean.

Atta girl, Vivi.

Related posts:

1. Angelina, Shiloh and Zahara at Whole Foods – LOOK AT THOSE BOOTS ON ZAHARA!
2. STOP PACKING UP THE VAN! There will be no public viewing at Neverland Ranch. Pssshhh.
3. Angelina Jolie to play Kay Scarpetta in Action Franchise