It's officially Spring, a time for love. We're also past a number of major holidays, so it's also the perfect time to breakup with someone. You can always console yourself with chocolate bunnies--or meerkats!
Frankly, Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn deserve each other. Liger, as they are being called, officially announced their relationship earlier this week through a series of awfully staged pictures. Woods has been known for keeping a low profile, that is until his very public cheating scandal back in 2009. Wow, has it been that long since my dislike of this guy was justified?
The 37 year-old pro golfer wrote on his Facebook page,
"Something nice that's happened off the course was meeting Lindsey Vonn. Lindsey and I have been friends for some time, but over the last few months we have become very close and are now dating."
This is the most unromantic announcement of anything that I have ever read. Newspaper obituaries are more romantic. In a press interview Woods said that he did this to get ahead of the media, but 28-year old skiier, Vonn herself said that it "wasn't a well-kept secret." Vonn finalized her divorce from husband Thomas Vonn in January of 2012. Woods divorced his ex-wife Elin Nordegren in 2010. They have two childen, Sam,5, and Charlie, 4. Let's ignore when Lindsey made fun of Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all when we all found out what a bigger cheater he was and wish them the best of luck. Or not, whatever.
Another "wait, what?" couple is 'Mad Men' star Vincent Kartheiser and actress Alexis Bledel. The pair met on set of the show, where Bledel played Pete Campbell's loopy love interest, and are now engaged. Kartheiser, 33, proposed to Bledel, 31, a few weeks ago, Alexis' rep confirmed to US Weekly. Bledel's former TV mom Lauren Graham sent them well wishes, as did Vincent's co-star Elisabeth Moss who gave the couple her blessing. The biggest question is, will Jon Hamm wear underwear to their wedding?
Unfortunately, another pair of television actors call it quits. I didn't even know that Regina King and Malcom-JamalWarner were a couple until my sister told me last year, (hey Chianti!) but I'm really sad to hear of their break-up. A source tells US Weekly that Warner asked King and her son to move out of the house they shared during their two years of dating. "She's still very brokenhearted," says the insider.
Regina, who stars on one of favorite shows 'Southland,' shot down engagement rumors back in 2011, but told Essence magazine that same year that she and Malcolm-Jamal had a lot in common because they were both child stars. If Cosby kids and Brenda Jenkins from '227' can't make it work, there's no hope for the rest of us.
Something tells me it was more than just location, location, location issues for Seth MacFarlane and Emilia Clarke. A source confirmed to E! News that the couple that I'm sure no one else knew about either were no longer dating.
"It was really a location challenge. She has been in Europe shooting 'Game of Thrones' and he is based in California, so it was hard to make it work despite the distance. They have remained friends."
How much you want to bet it had something to do with that 'I Saw Your Boobs' song he performed at last month's Oscars?
Written by: Brittani
In other totally "I'm SO
NOT shocked they SPLIT!" news, Tiger Woods and his caddy of 12+ years, Steve Williams have indeed SPLIT. Broken-up. Parted ways. Divorced? Semantics...
Via Tiger's website, he made this statement:
"I want to express my deepest gratitude to Stevie for all his help, but I think it's time for a change," Woods said. "Stevie is an outstanding caddie and a friend and has been instrumental in many of my accomplishments. I wish him great success in the future."
I hear-tell that Stevie was actually "let go" 3-4 weeks ago. So yeah. We already knew that Tiger's caddy could keep plenty of secrets, didn't we?
Hey...is it spelled CADDY or CADDIE?? I say CADDY. As in SHACK.
Oh. 'Member when we loved Tiger Woods, y'all?
For the love of Pete. Here's something I don't want to read about...much less write about: How "hard" it is for Tiger Effing Woods to be a single dad. Really? Seriously, Tiger? You get to be Mr. Fun Dad with the aid of nannies, housekeepers, drivers, and chefs. You seriously have got to be kidding me. I guess he's not kidding, though, as he whined to ABC's Robin Roberts:
"It's work, there's no doubt," the golfer, 35, speaking on ABC's Good Morning America Thursday, said about single fatherhood. "It's tough. But it's enjoyable. That's the work I love."
Yeah, I suppose I still have a chip on my shoulder about being a single mom two separate times in my life. Hearing crap like this just make my blood boil. I don't want to generalize, but I will anyway. Fathers typically are let off the hook in terms of the day-to-day parenting. (Come to think of it, in my experience it tends to work out that way even IF Dad lives in the house. But I digress...) Being a working-single mom was certainly the most challenging thing I have ever done. Activities; homework; trying to weed out bad-seed friends; the sex talk; the drug talk; the sex AND drug talk AGAIN; doctor's appointments; being the only one to care for the kids when they're sick, thus taking time off work (because Lord knows HE wouldn't take a day off)--then getting written up for it by my employer; never, EVER having enough money; getting the side-eye from teachers for showing up alone to conferences; working horrible hours in retail, all the while trying to create good memories by DOING THINGS with the kids...you get the idea. I'm not saying one word that we haven't already heard.
Oh, one more thing: The mothers are the one Society blames for the kids' shortcomings, so it's all my fault. Not the fathers. NEVER the fathers. What year is this again?
All it takes is some a-hole like Tiger Woods to bring it all back again. So, yeah. Tiger's having a rough time as a single dad while he whores around with girls who already have a criminal record to match their methface.
May I introduce you to Alyce Lahti Johnston, 22. This is who Tiger's um, dating. Good for them.
"Bitterly Reliving Old Shit? Table for one!"
Oh, excuse me...time for dinner.
There is no way there is anything all that titillating in the soft-serve that IS People Magazine's cover story with Elin Woods Nordegren. I'd go so far to say that Elin's "interview" with the mag was laid out in the divorce settlement in terms of what she would reveal. And guess what? There's nothing wrong with that. Apparently, Elin is only 40 credits away from a degree in psychology. I call that the definition of irony.
"In 19 hours over four visits to her Windermere, Fla., rental home, Nordegren shared never-before-seen personal photographs and opened up to PEOPLE about the emotional roller coaster she's been on, her life as a mother to Sam, 3, and Charlie, 19 months, and her hopes for the future.
"My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal," she says.
She tells the magazine this was her first – and last – interview, as she intends to remain a private person."
Tiger Woods, though, just released a statement when asked about the dissolution of his marriage, saying:
"You don't go into a marriage looking to get divorced."
Wow. Super heartfelt, huh? He still can't totally own up to what he did to Elin and the kids by ho-ing around and publicly humiliating them.
Good luck with your game, Tiger.
Tiger Woods can kiss my fat ass. Oh wait. He won't have time for that, what with writing ENORMOUS checks to Elin and SUCKING at golf. Man, why can't Camilo Villegas be a better golfer? I wanna see that hot piece in tight white (or pink or orange or black or bright green or yellow...okay, I'll stop) pants. Not this has-been. Oh yeah, I said it. HAS-EFFING-BEEN.
The couple has released a statement requesting their "privacy" and shit.
"We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future," they said in a statement released by Nordegren's Virginia-based law firm of McGuireWoods. "While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us.
Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern."
Whatever, Tiger. Elin and the kids? THEY deserve privacy and will probably GET it after awhile. Tiger, though, will have a white-hot spotlight on his ass for a long time. But not in the way he used to, via his billions of dollars in endorsements. Nope. He'll be shown losing on the links, photographed on boats with hoes. (Oh, Step Brothers.)
Tiger Woods, y'all.