‘The X Factor’ Recap, Final Night of Auditions

I can't say 'The X Factor' saved it's best for last, but they certainly saved the most annoying for it's last night of auditions. This doesn't bode well for the competition, and I can't see any of Thursday night's contestants even making it to the finals. Little Trevor Moran almost didn't make it out on stage.

Last episode ended with Trevor passed out in his mother's arms and the backstage crew was scrambling for an ambulance. They skipped over him while he recovered from dehydration, then he finally auditioned with an uncomfortable version of LMFAO's "Sexy And I Know It." The judges ate this crap up for some reason and after all that drama, he got four yeses and another chance to annoy me.

Then 16-year old Owen Stuart's sob story was that he was missing his girlfriend, who currently resides in New York. If he hadn't explained that they met ONCE when she flew down to meet him in Chicago, I would have been convinced that this chick doesn't exist. Almost in tears, he sings B.o.B's "Airplanes" and dedicates it to her in the most eye-roll inducing performance I have ever rolled my eyes at. Britney wasn't wowed by it, but Demi thought it was "romantic." Demi, don't make me hate you. He got 3 yeses though. If he wins, he'll use that $5 million dollar prize to move to new york and marry his "girlfriend." I did mention this KID is 16, right?  I guess Miss Chicago Girlfriend will get half then.

Then it was time for Freddie Combs, a man who at one point in his life weighed 900 pounds, but had lost almost 400. His wife Kay, who was by his side for his audition, was his inspiration for losing weight and I'm sure the reason behind his song choice, "The Wind Beneath My Wings." He is surprisingly good, with a soulful voice that probably comes from his time spent being a minister. Britney called him "shockingly amazing" and Simon said he had a vision that he would be singing stand up and that he didn't deserve to be in that chair. A truly touching moment, and I hope they don't exploit this guy which would be too easy for them to do.

After Freddiewe got a montage of Simon's best put downs, which included the hilarious "Years ago, I sat on two cats and that's what it sounded like." And because this needs to be said, Britney adds nothing in critiques or disses. I know they tried to paint her as the "mean judge" but that title still belongs to Simon.

The show ended with two young but totally different performers. 16-year old Lauren Jauregui auditioned with Alicia Keys's "If I Ain't Got You," a good choice that showcased a voice much older than her teen years. L.A. thought it was "perfect" and she got four easy yeses.

Ugh. "The sun'll come out...TOMORRRROOOOW!"

'X Factor' has a slightly younger age requirement than most shows and I really wish they didn't. We get contestants like 12-year old Jordyn Foley who is everything you hated about the girl who always brought her American Girl dolls to Show and Tell in elementary school. In sparkly sneakers and the outfit of a mall hopping hobo, she reminded Simon of of Britney in her "Oops..." days. Simon has a knack for knowing what certain people are going to sing and he knew she was going with "Tomorrow" from 'Annie' and hated every second of it. If only to piss Simon off, Demi, Britney and L.A. sent her through even after that terrible, off-pitch performance where she told the audience to follow their dreams. Someone stop this child.

Boot Camp starts next week where we will find out which houses the judges get, and who they'll be using as their mentors. To avoid a mess like last year, Demi should get the kids, Britney should get the 20-somethings with Simon getting the groups because we know that is his specialty and L.A. should get the old folks just because.