True Blood Recap, ‘If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?

The new season of True Blood is steadily moving along, but it might get even more gross from here.

I have never winced so much during an episode as I did with this one. Jason is still trapped in Hot Shot with the Panther People. He's slowly turning into one of them after Crystal Meth and Fenton bit him. Watching all the women there line up to basically rape him was a tad bit disturbing. Congratulations Jason, you're the Tara this season. With the othe shifters, Tommy is still living Maxine, and learning how to read! He tries to pull one over on her by selling her natural gas line. Sam threatens to tell Maxine and they're back to hating each other. Sigh, please move this storyline along somehow. Possibly with Tommy killing Maxine. I'm sure Hoyt wouldn't mind.

Speaking of Hoyt, poor thing is being cheated on. Jessica regrets going to Fangtasia to feed on someone else but she needed a change. Isn't it like that will all relationships? She goes to Bill for help, and as her vamp-pop he tells her that if she loves him she'll tell him the truth. At home Hoyt isn't as understanding and she glamors him into forgiving her. I wish I had that power, I'd have a pair of Louboutins by now. Later Jessica gives Baby Mikey that creepy doll that keeps returning to their house. Mikey seems to enjoy it, he is evil, or something.  After a vamp is caught on camera feeding on a woman, he is punished with a true death. Bill is not playing around, you guys. He was set up for a site called vamps-kill.com. (Visit it, it's kind of funny.) Later we see him dining with Portia Bellefleur who wants to add sex to their business relationship. I guess not mixing business with pleasure means nothing to her. Even though Bill tells her he will never love her, they have sex anyways. You might be dead Bill, but you're still a man.

Okay, now to the big part of the episode. Sookie takes Eric back to um, their house and calls Pam to let him know he's there. After Sookie threatens to tell Bill, Pam lunges at her but Eric being the sort of gentleman he is not saves her. Sookie has gotten a little bit smarter since being gone for a year, she makes Pam pay her for taking care of Eric.

Sookie goes to see Alcide, and a cleaned up Debbie Pelt, to ask for his help. Even though Alcide is with Debbie now, you can tell he still has some feelings for Sookie. Lafayette wants to bargain with Eric to not kill him, while Tara, Jesus and the others at the MoonGoddess Emporium try to talk him out of it.

After he leaves Merlotte's, Tara and Jesus follow him to Fangtasia, armed with a gun with wooden bullets, to save him from Pam. They make a deal with her, they'll bring her Marnie so she can try to reverse the spell she put on Eric. Pam doesn't mess around either, and promises to "personally eat, f*** and kill" them if they don't deliver. She also looked quite fabulous in that spiked denim jacket.

Sookie has been seeing flashes of the fairy world, and outside she see her Fairy Godmother Claudine who begs her to come back. Just as Sookie is about to accept, Eric grabs Claudine and starts to feed on her on her until she turns into a pile of dust. All Eric can offer up is a simple, "sorry." I guess cursed Eric is supposed to be cute, but I actually find him even more creepy than normal Eric.

Oh, and what was up with him calling her Snooki? Let's not.